Tag Archives: Valorie Burton

Truth & Lies

Hi Everyone!

I’ve had a lot going on lately and not to mention trying to read several books at one time so, I’ve had to put the Valorie Burton book, “Why Not You” on hold for a minute.  I’ll still be adding posts from my readings from her book, just not everyday.  Some of the books I’m reading now are, The Bible, The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and Lord, is it Warfare? Teach me to Stand by Kay Arthur. Full plate!  What can I say, I love to read! Anyway, so I am starting this Bible study on Kay Arthur’s book, Lord is it Warfare and I was reading in Ephesians as part of the homework assignment and this particular verse stuck out to me:

Ephesians 6:14 Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness

It made me think, how many people don’t protect their “loins” with the truth?  How many people really know the truth about sex and how many are listening to the lies of this world?  Do you know the truth?  Or are you listening to the lies? So below, I’ve listed a few (although there are many!) of the lies of this world and below that I’ve listed the truth, from GOD! God, who loves you unconditionally and would never ask you to compromise yourself, or do anything to hurt you, who has great plans for you and wants to protect you! Yes, HIM! 🙂 Ok, so here we go:


  1. God doesn’t care about my sex life.
  2. This is my body and I can do what I want with it!
  3. Everyone is having sex.  It’s no big deal!
  4. Oral sex isn’t sex.
  5. It’s okay for a man to get as much sex as he wants and be single.
  6. I couldn’t help myself!
  7. One time won’t hurt anything!
  8. Nothing will happen, I won’t get pregnant, he doesn’t have a disease, he’s too cute to have a disease!
  9. Not having sex before marriage is old school, no one waits for marriage anymore!
  10. It’s ok for me to dress like the women I see in music videos, that’s what guys like!


  1. God does care very much about our sex life!  He created sex! (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 NLT)
  2. No, your body does NOT belong to you.  Your body is the temple of the Lord! (1 Corinthians 6:17 NLT)
  3. Everyone may be having sex but it doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do.  It’s a huge deal in the eyes of God! He says to flee from sexual immorality! (1 Corinthians 6:12-18 NLT)
  4. Oral sex is an act of sex, an extension of the gift that God has given to married couples, male & female. (Song of Songs 2:3, 4:16)
  5. No man or woman, single or not should be having sex with whomever, whenever! God never said to “sow your royal oats”, that’s from Coming to America, not God! LOL! We are to take pleasure in our HUSBANDS! Not boyfriend, not through hookin’ up, and definitely not because you’re bored or it’s the thing to do! (Proverbs 5:15-23) 
  6. You can’t control yourself, but with God’s help you can! (1 Cor 10: 12-13)
  7. One time won’t hurt anything…pulease, all it takes is one time to contract a disease or get pregnant.  Sperm was created to swim, and that’s what they are going to do, swim towards the egg and fertilize it!  Condoms are not 100%! Your virginity is a one time gift that’s to be for your future husband, trust me, it’s worth the wait! There’s so much that happens spiritually when you have sex with someone…I’ll cover more on this on another blog post….
  8. You can’t look at someone and see if they have herpes, HIV/AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc, and just because a condom is used, it doesn’t mean that you’re protected.  If he has something and his penis touches you anywhere in the area that’s supposed to be covered by your panties, there’s a chance he’s sharing more than just sex with you!
  9. There’s a reason that God saves sex for marriage.  He knows what it was created for and anything outside of why it was created can and will lead to disaster! Think of a can of Drano (or Liquid Plumr ;-)), if you don’t follow the directions on the can, or if you use it for something for which it was NOT created, what do you think will happen?  Read the Creator of sex directions and follow them carefully!
  10. The way you dress says a lot about you! How do you want a guy to view you? He will treat you the way that you are dressed.  The eyes & mind work hand in hand and we all know that guys are stimulated greatly by what they see! If you dress like a ho (yeah, I went there!), then, you will be treated like one.  There’s a way to look attractive without looking like a prostitute! Read the Song of Solomon and see how the man pays attention to every detail of the woman and tells her how beautiful she is, shoot he even talks about her teeth! Every woman wants to be loved, treasured and appreciated, so make sure you’re giving him a reason to love, treasure and appreciate you for who you are and not just the way your butt looks or how big your breasts are.  Those are for your husband’s enjoyment only! 🙂

There’s so much more and I feel that God wants me to focus more on truth and lies so there will be more to come on this subject but please, get a Bible, or better yet, go on the internet to an online Bible (I’ve listed some sites below) and find a version that makes sense to you and learn truth for yourself! Don’t listen to your friends, tv, radio, read the Bible for yourself and get truth for yourself!!!!!!!! I will gladly answer any questions and if I don’t know the answer I will find it for you but please find truth for yourself! God has a plan for all of us and it’s a great plan! It’s not for us to be hurt and defeated but to prosper and have an abundant and full life.  You don’t have to settle for the lies of this world! If you don’t want to post your questions on the blog you can email me at savinitforhubby@yahoo.com anytime!

*****Don’t forget, my FREE teleclass, 5 Things to Think About BEFORE You Have Sex is coming up next Saturday, January 21 @ 11am! It’s free but you have to register so that I can send you the dial-in information. Click on the link below to register.****

5 Things to Think About BEFORE You Have Sex!

Online Bibles:

YouVersion Online Bible

Bible Gateway

Be blessed & encouraged!


Scattered & Splattered!


The past 2 weeks have been challenging for me.  I feel as if I’m all over the place and dealing with a ton of emotions, to-do’s, not-to-do’s, spiritual warfare, the whole shebang! While I do love the holiday season, it can be challenging for me because I’m reminded of my mom, who passed 6 years ago, and how much I miss her and my family in general.  Also, just a little worn out from the spiritual warfare that comes along with being obedient to God.  Fighting lies from the enemy and my own self sabotaging thoughts that come to mind, have to be nipped quickly and being mindful of this and taking thoughts captive can be exhausting after a while. I know that the battle is not ours but we still have to take our thoughts captive and when you’re bombarded, it’s like an intense sword fight!

Also this week I delivered some Christmas gift bags to Peace Place and doing this was awesome! I’ve always wanted to do something like this and am grateful to have had the opportunity to fulfill a dream of mine! Needless to say, this week has been one filled with ups and downs and that’s why I feel so scattered and splattered!

In continuing my reading of Why Not You? by Valorie Burton, I came to a section at the end of the chapter, “Face Your Fears and Insecurities” and there’s this list of questions that are very thought-provoking.  As I read through them and started thinking about the answers, I felt myself start to slow down and really think about what’s going on and refocus on my goals and vision for myself.  I’m even going to break this down in to 2 columns: Career and Relationships, and answer the questions as they pertain to both.  SN, there may be some relationships that may need to be let go of, strengthened or pursued. So here are the questions. If you’ve been feeling a little scattered and splattered yourself, hopefully we can get back on track together!

  1. Honestly, do I really want to do this? If so, why? What’s my purpose in it?
  2. What does my inner voice-the voice of the Holy Spirit-tell me?
  3. What’s keeping me from standing up fully and confidently in this situation?
  4. What am I afraid of? (Our job is not to pretend fear doesn’t exist or to run and hide from it; our job is to be strong and courageous in unearthing the fear so we can confront and conquer it.)
  5. What doubts hinder me right now? What’s the truth about each of those doubts?
  6. Who will I need to become in order to achieve the goal or vision set before me?
  7. What will it feel like to stand fully in who I am?
  8. How do I want to feel in the situation in which I am lacking confidence?
  9. What will I have to do differently in order for success to come more easily?
  10. What opportunity for growth is before me right now?
  11. What will it take for me to embrace this opportunity for growth?

Using this list, I’m going to get myself back on track and continue to plan for great things to come in the next few weeks and in the new year! I’m also going to go and sit and stare at my vision board to help me refocus as well. Onward & Upward!

*Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.*

Be blessed & encouraged,


Why Not You?: Day 2

Good Evening!  I have to admit that I let my confidence in God’s ability slip today.  I got wrapped up in my abilities and my limitations that I just totally ignored the fact that I have an awesome God who’s more than capable of providing for me.

So, in case you didn’t know, my goal is to become a Certified Life Coach and I’ve been exploring different schools and programs and they are pretty pricey.  I’ve narrowed my list down to 3 choices.  I started comparing the schools and then I started focusing on the money that I don’t have to pay for the certification program and then my mind started reeling! I started thinking of ways that I could raise the money, sell cupcakes, pies, cookies, go work in a grocery store, maybe do a fish fry, anything! (LOL @ the fish fry!) So, after getting frustrated with myself I picked up Valorie’s Book, Why Not You? and started to read chapter 2 which is “Know that Authentic Confidence Attracts Success” and right off the bat I’m convicted of my stressing and trying to figure out something that God has already worked out! I know that this is what I’m called to do and I’m confident in this but for a fleeting moment, I started getting my panties in a bunch because I couldn’t figure out how I was going to make this happen!  So, I keep reading and here are a few things that I read that totally boosted me out of my funk that I was in and totally reminded me that by me walking in my God-given purpose that I can have confidence in knowing that God can orchestrate my life through His awesome favor!

*Authentic Confidence is about what God can do through me, in me, and for me. Immediately everything is taken off of me! All I have to do is trust God that if He brought me to this, surely He will make a way for me to get through this and succeed!

*Knowing that God is with me is my key to authentic confidence.  Authentic confidence is my complete trust that what I offer to this world is valuable, meaningful, and divinely unique! Do you feel this way about yourself?

*Authentic confidence=self-confidence+faith

*Two essentials of confidence are faith and trust in God-trust that He will make available to me the resources I need (BINGO!!!!) and my ability to communicate effectively! My calling as a spiritual life coach has already been taken care of by the ONE who called me to do so! So now why am I worrying?

If what you’re trying to accomplish is God’s will for your life, trust that He has already paved the way, we just have to follow HIM!!

Be blessed & encouraged,


Why Not You?: Day 1


I’m reading Valorie Burton’s book, “Why Not You: 28 Days to Authentic Confidence and I will be sharing my journey with you through this blog.

So I’ve read the intro and Day 1 Take Stock of Yourself and already I have underlined and taken tons of notes! There are some things in the introduction that jump off the page at me as if God is really trying to get me to understand some things about Him that I just never realized or thought of before or that I just wouldn’t even think of.  God is not complicated! I think sometimes we make Him impersonal and out of touch and He’s not.  Sometimes I’m super aware of His presence! He’s sooooo wonderful! We make Him complicated because His love for us is so great that sometimes it does seem too good to be true that He, God, wants us to succeed and grow and thrive and “have life abundantly”!

The ideals go against the grain and against tradition of what we’re told. The lies that we have to act a certain way, associate ourselves with certain people of stature, dress a certain way, go to this school or drive this car have been blown out of the water in this book! Just reading the intro and the first chapter I already feel empowered and feel a lightness in my heart.  So below I’m going to list some of my notes that I’ll definitely be pouring over for the next 28 days.

*I have within me everything I need to begin living the purpose for which I was created! – This sticks out to me because I know what my calling is and I’m very passionate about it but have been feeling as if I’m missing something, that I don’t quite have everything I need to just start.  Suffice it to say, this statement alone is powerful for me!

*”It’s our confidence in Him that bolsters our confidence and belief in ourselves.  Knowing that God created you and wants to use you also means acknowledging that He accepts you as you are.  Simultaneously, He’s offering you daily opportunities to grow into more of the person He created you to be.  He accepts you, despite the criticisms, doubts, or insecurities you may impose on yourself and the obstacles you erect for yourself. (Why Not You? pg. 5) – Wow!!!!!  This made me really think! When I’m doubting myself and being hesitant in moving forward in the calling that I have on my life, am I really trusting God’s Word or am I trusting in my fleeting confidence?! God says that He will never leave us nor forsake us and He means it! He can’t lie! He’s God! So when I put my trust, faith and confidence in Him then, my confidence is amped because I know that He has my back! Then, the fact that He wants to use me and He accepts me, I could stop reading this book now and be on cloud 9! I never really thought about it in these terms, God wanting to use me and He accepts me even if I don’t feel worthy or usable or accepted.  It doesn’t matter because God sees all those things in me because He created me as such! I have learned that doubt is the greatest obstacle that I can erect for myself. Especially because I know that God has called me and I know what He has called me to do! Doubt = Delay!

*Strengthening my confidence empowers me to say yes to God consistently and without hesitation!

*Who I am right now is enough!!!!!!!!!!!  I am enough because God is enough! Ladies if you’re compromising your beliefs and your morals and your purity because you feel as if it will make this guy love, value, or appreciate you, STOP! You’re enough right now and if he can’t accept it, then HE’S NOT THE ONE! The man who God gives you to will not cause you to sin, he will protect you and cover you! You are fine now! You don’t have to have sex with him!

*The truth is, we’ll never really be successful doing anything other than the things each of us were uniquely and specially created to do.  Did you get that? I did! To me it means all the different jobs I’ve had and the businesses I started most likely failed because I was not doing what I was uniquely and specially created to do! It makes so much sense to me now! I’d be excited about a new venture but 2 weeks later would be bored senseless or just feel out of sorts! Stop trying to be someone you’re not or doing what you think people want you to do. Ask God for your purpose, trust God to bring you to your husband, trust God to show you the way. He definitely will!

*If your dream involves something God created you to do, you’ll always be good enough to do it. I don’t know about you but knowing this is so freeing!

*Confidence, ultimately, is about trust….trust God’s ability to orchestrate your life! You don’t have to go beating down doors or “grinding” your life away! The world “grinds” God’s children trust and obey! God knows what He has for you (Jeremiah 29:11) so why not trust Him to show you the way?

*Doubt…steals your confidence and your dreams. It causes you to shrink from who you are.  I immediately thought of Eve in the Garden of Eden when I read this.  The serpent planted doubt in her mind.  She was there with God and had everything she could ever want or need and she succumbed to doubt.  The rest is history….

*Believing that you’re not enough will create a fear that paralyzes and keeps you from building fully on what you do have enough of. Nuff said! 😉

*There’s perfection in your imperfections.  Sometimes your purpose will come from the pains in your life.  My purpose came from the pains in my life. God uses those.  He’s purposeful! What Satan meant to take you out, God can and will use for your good if you will allow Him too!

Confidence Journal:

In what ways do I want to be different at the completion of this 28 day journey? I want to trust that God has my back consistently, no hesitation.  No doubts. I want to push through my fears and move forward. Onward & Upward! I am enough!

Be blessed & encouraged,


Why Not You?


So one of my life goals is to teach women God’s truth about sex. Before I surrendered my life to Christ, I had sex outside of marriage for all the wrong reasons.  I realized that I was trying to compensate for some things that were missing from my life.  My father wasn’t around, I had no self-confidence, no self-esteem and I thought sex would help me forget my issues or solve some of them.  Sex was a horrible substitute for God!  I truly feel that a lot of women have sex outside of marriage for some of the same reasons and also because of plain ignorance of the truth.  No one ever told me to wait until marriage to have sex.

Even though I’m in a much better place emotionally (Praise God!) there are still 2 things that I struggle with and that’s confidence and fear.  I have my days when I feel very confident and can laugh in the face of fear and then there are days when those things get the best of me.  To help me deal with these two issues, I will be reading a book by Valorie Burton called, Why Not You? 28 Days to Authentic Confidence.  I love Valorie! I’ve had the awesome privilege of meeting her and chatting with her and I think she’s just great and I truly admire her.

So, if anyone out there is having a few confidence or fear issues, please join me! Let’s trust God for our confidence, purpose, and self-esteem!  And especially if you’re using sex or anything else other than God for completion or to define you and/or your purpose.  God is the only one who can fill the void and emptiness that you’re feeling! Not a man, not sex, not food, and not shopping!

I will be updating the blog each day on my insights to each chapter and the things I’m learning and finding out about myself as well as victories!  There are a lot of things I’m praying for in the coming year and I refuse to let lack of confidence or fear steal my opportunities from me!  I’ve overcome some of them and I’m looking forward to more victories! Let me know if you plan to join me!

Be blessed & encouraged!


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