Tag Archives: single

So, How Do I Stop Having Premarital Sex?

So, you’ve decided to stop having sex outside of marriage but man, seriously, those urges didn’t just up and disappear because you said yes to God, right? If anything, in some instances, they’ve probably gotten worse, right? Yeah, I know. Well, there are some things you must understand first in order to be successful in your walk of purity.

First, you have to understand that this is a spiritual battle. It’s not just against your fleshly desires. Second, there’s no way on this earth that you can walk this walk alone. Third, realizing that something in you has been awakened prematurely and only God can put it back to sleep. And fourth, this will require some work on your part as well.

What in the world am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell you a few things, without typing a dissertation:

Contrary to what we’ve all been told, sex, including oral, was reserved for marriage.  A gift from God to married couples.  We see evidence of this act in the book of Genesis (Genesis 4:1). Sex was also created by God. Which means, He knows why He created it and what happens when it’s done outside of why it was created. God meant for sex to be good and pleasurable and this is what gets us into trouble.  We all agree that it’s good and pleasurable! Guess who also knows this about sex? Satan. Remember I said that this is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:10-18). Satan has succeeded in perverting this act and taking it out of the context of why it was created therefore instead of sex being a blessing for marriage and procreation, it has become a curse because it has been abused and the marriage bed defiled.

Now, on to why you still want sex. You still want it because you’ve been awakened in this area and because the power of sex is not easily shaken.  It’s binding, sex joins you to another person, you become one with this person. Sounds familiar? Yes because this is what happens in marriage (Genesis 2: 23-24). In the Bible we are warned in Song of Solomon (2:7) not to awaken love before its time and not just sex but allowing someone to become so intimate with you emotionally as well. For women, this is how we are taken down. Our emotions! Ok…….

  1. If you haven’t done so, soul ties that have been formed with anyone you’ve had sex with must be broken.

From Pastor Chris Simpson, New Wine Christian Fellowship http://www.newwineonline.com:  

STEPS TO BREAKING UNGODLY SOUL TIES:

  • Confess any and all ungodly ties to the Lord. Repent from your heart for violating God’s ordained boundaries in your relationships.
  • Make a solemn commitment to the Lord to break off any relationship that is not pure or righteous in His eyes. Become accountable to others to help you keep that commitment. Until you do that, any prayers for freedom are in vain. I’ve actually had people ask me to break their unhealthy soul ties so that when they got together again (in their illicit relationship), they wouldn’t feel all those bad spirits. However, God is not mocked. Reinforce your requests to the Lord with a commitment to obey.
  • Before praying, do whatever is necessary for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to come. This is so important. Pray, wait, forgive, or worship. Once His presence and anointing is present, then proceed with the soul tie breaking prayer. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. The ties won’t break with a simple prayer from the mind. The anointed power of the Holy Spirit must be present to be effective.

SOUL TIE BREAKING PRAYER 

“In the name of Jesus Christ I now renounce, break and loose myself from all demonic subjection and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bondings with the following people: (break soul ties with each person that comes to mind)”

“Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies to: obsessive preoccupations, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation and disobedience in relationships.”

“Finally, in the name of Jesus, I declare every demonic hold in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties null and void. Satan, I renounce you and your demons and command you to depart from my spirit, soul and body!”

  1. Once the ties have been broken, check your circle. Who do you hang with? Are they trying to walk the same walk as you? If not, then you might need to break up with them too!
  2. What are you watching, reading, listening to? All of this plays a part in the success of walking in purity. Purity is more than not having sex, it’s making sure that our heart and mind lines up with the word of God. If you’re watching things like Being Mary Jane, Scandal and Love and Hip Hop, then you’ll likely be influenced by these shows.  Without going too far down the rabbit trail, Satan was once Lucifer, Archangel of worship, had a beautiful voice, etc, so because of his pride he was kicked out of heaven. Satan wants to be God, and he wants us to worship him, not God so certain types of music, turn our hearts to sinful desires and not to worship and glorify God. Music is powerful! Notice how you react when you listen to certain types, same goes for TV shows. The Bible tells us to take certain thoughts and ideas captive (2 Corinthians 5:10) The Bible also tells us that once we are set free through Christ, make sure that we stay free and not get tied up again (Galatians 5:1, 13)
  3. As I said before, you can’t walk this walk alone. Have people who will hold you accountable and that you trust to be transparent with. Transparency is key! Most importantly, have a RELATIONSHIP with God. Holy Spirit was sent to guide us and comfort us. Don’t ignore Him or forget about Him. Our flesh is constantly warring with our spirit and sometimes the battle is just too hard for us to fight. The Bible says “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves” (Galatians 5:16). Remember that even if you find yourself in a compromising situation, God always provides a way out, you just have to take it! (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

There’s temptation everywhere at any given time.  We all know this. We have to learn how to navigate through this mess. We can’t see everything that’s coming at us but God can.  You may still have sexual urges but they don’t have to rule you. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). When you don’t have the energy or “want to” to flee, pray, I guarantee you, God will show up. Do you trust God to help you with this? You have to surrender your sex life to Him. Trust Him to bring along the one He chose for you. Also, if you do fall, repent, get up and keep fighting.  Don’t condemn yourself because God doesn’t condemn you. He wants you to have His best. Don’t settle just because you’re horny. Find some emergency verses, an item that will remind you that you can do this, remind you of why you’re doing this, whether it’s a purity ring or bracelet (such as our signature bracelet :-)). Have some emergency phone numbers too. Know what your triggers are. If Valentine’s day is a trigger, make plans with friends or family so that you can head off temptation to fall back into old habits.  God will honor and bless your efforts! Don’t forget to do your part! God will handle what you can’t! Feel free to share anything that’s helped you as well!

Be blessed and encouraged,

Shannon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Savin’ it for Hubby Signature Bracelet!

 

This hand crafted bracelet is made with faceted black agate stones with a pave’ crystal accent and fashioned with an acrylic heart shaped charm with the initials “sifh”.

This bracelet is for women young, old, married or single. This bracelet is meant to serve as a stylish reminder for single women that they are worth more and if they’re ever in a compromising situation that they can’t lose by saving themselves for their future husbands and seeing themselves as God does, beautiful, priceless, His!

For married women, this unique bracelet can serve as a reminder in the good times to save themselves, their time and energy for their husbands. And for when things are bad and the desire to compromise their marriage, that they can’t go wrong with trusting God to work things out for them.

This bracelet is simply stylish and serves as a great accent piece to any outfit, day or night!

Savin’ it for Hubby’s Mission is to teach women young and old, single or married, God’s truth about their value, worth and sexuality!

Click here to order!

 

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


Attracting Adam

attracting adam

 

 

 

 

 

HI!!

I pray that you all are well! I’m guest posting on my dear sister LaTanya Quinn’s blog for her ministry, LaTanya Quinn Ministries for a series called The Married and Single Series. You definitely want to check out the wisdom that has been shared thus far as well as the article written by yours truly – Attracting Adam.  Praying you’re blessed and will draw closer to the lover of our souls!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


Soapbox Moment!

Ok, ladies….(big sigh) I know some of you are tired of being single and are really wanting companionship. I know some of you may be in a relationship and you’re settling for Mr. No Good all because you want to be in a relationship and for the sake of saying that you have a “man” and I use the term “man” very loosely! A man does NOT beat you, curse at you, verbally abuse you, treat you like crap, manipulate you, threaten you, use you, destroy your life and make things worse than they have to be or take advantage of you!!! You are God’s daughter, His beloved! God delights in you! He Loves you beyond measure! He has a MAN set aside for you, but first God must become your man!! Your value and worth comes from Him not a man! Stop settling and taking crap! You were created for more!!! You are stronger and wiser than you think! Stop letting fear run your life! God didn’t give you a spirit of fear but of a sound mind! Get up and leave him alone! GOD WILL DEFINITELY TAKE CARE OF YOU! But, only if you allow Him to. He’s not forceful, He’s love and perfect love casts out all fear, there’s no fear in love. God doesn’t condemn but has compassion and He’s waiting to love on you the way you deserve to be loved! Trust God, not man!!
Ok, I’m done now…<3

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


Dating: Helpful or Harmful?

When I was single, I couldn’t wait for my next date.  To be wined and dined and doted on and have whomever the lucky guy was undivided attention.  Each date led to something being revealed that I didn’t like about the guy or I found out he was just in it for sex.  Unfortunately, I gave in which led to more problems than I care to admit.  Dating supposedly is set up to see if we’re compatible with someone, and we all want to make sure we’re compatible but really all it does is feed a spirit of discontentment.  I feel that it contributes to the high rate of divorce.  It teaches us that if we get married and the guy does something we don’t like, we just divorce them and move on.  Marriage is a covenant relationship, not a contract.  You become one when you get married.  Why is it so easy for some people to divorce themselves? It’s because they went into the marriage with the wrong idea or no idea about marriage.  Some are just in love with the idea of marriage and totally are not prepared for what happens after “I do”. More on this later, now back to dating.

Follow me for a moment.  When you date, your ultimate goal is to find your spouse, right? Well, I’m married now and I LOVE my husband but let me tell you, marriage can be hard.  It’s a lot of work.  There are days that I don’t like my husband, or he’ll do or say something that I don’t like or hurt my feelings (he’s a man and he’s human, it’s going to happen in marriage, trust me!) or I may say or do something that ticks him off (which does happen in marriage, trust me!). As I said before, satan is watching and waiting for an opportunity to pounce.  On a bad day, if you’re not taking your thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), memories of guys from your past will pop up.  Your mind will begin to wonder and things you’ve done with him, things he’s said to you, how he made you feel, how he touched you or kissed you.  Then, you start to look at your hubby and start comparing and wondering….why doesn’t he make me feel like such and such, or why doesn’t he do this, say this, or act this way.  This happens! Marriage is beautiful but you will be tested! As I’ve said before, the enemy doesn’t fight fair.

Dating to find your “soul mate” is not the way to go.  It sets you up for failure.  You won’t get to your future hubby any faster. Let God do that for you.  If you do, when you get married, you will have less ammo for the enemy to use against you. That’s why God gave us His word, so that we will know what to do.  He gave it to us for our protection. He knows that the enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy.  Don’t give in to what feels good or looks good now. Think about your future and what you really want and act accordingly.

When I met my hubby, we were in college.  He moved in with me, we “shacked up” and boy did God get our attention.  We both grew up where everyone we knew lived with others married or not.  We started going to church together and learned the truth.  Not long after he moved in, I lost my job, he was in a car accident and totaled his car, my car broke down and I didn’t have the money to get it fixed, and then we were evicted! God provided wise counsel and we were told that we needed to either get married or not live together.  So hubby and I prayed and God led the way.  He provided all that we needed; the rings, my dress, venue.  God totally worked it out.  When you get in line with His vision and do things His way, He will definitely take care of you and make a way but you have to trust Him.

So, what’s the alternative to dating.  Prayer and hanging out or going out in groups.  God will show you and lead you through the rest.  If your future hubby is in that group, God will work it out so that you can get to know each other better.  Just trust Him, trust Him, trust Him!!!

I found a more in-depth article on dating here!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


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