Categories, Sexual Healing Series

The Past is the Past (Sexual Healing Series)

Happy Monday! Today begins our Sexual Healing Series and I’m so excited to begin this journey with you! I’ve been praying for God’s direction for this series and I’ve been praying for you all as well!

A few things before we get started:

  • Pray for Holy Spirit to be with you and guide you through this process as you won’t be able to do this alone.
  • Get a prayer partner or accountability partner or join our closed Sexual Healing group on Facebook here.
  • Be open and honest with yourself and transparent with your prayer partner or accountability person about any struggles or issues you’re having.
  • Enjoy the journey knowing that God is on your side and is more than willing to heal you!

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Scripture: 

Philippians 3:12-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

Pressing toward the Goal

12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,


The first time I had sex, I was 14 years old and the guy was 22 years old. I’d just really started taking an interest in guys and was still rather awkward and shy around them but I did notice that I liked the attention that I was getting. My mom had a pretty serious drug and alcohol problem and the attention from the opposite sex proved to be a relief from my current circumstances. He’d told me that no one had to know and that he wouldn’t tell anyone, that everything would be ok.  That he would stop if it hurt too badly. I’m thinking, he’s older and he’s cute and out of all the girls, other than his girlfriend that he lived with, across the hall from me, he chose me. So I agreed. When his girlfriend had left, I went over to their apartment and that’s where my I gave away a very precious gift. Only, I didn’t know how precious it was because no one had ever told me, not even my mom, because she didn’t know either. The experience was very painful, not at all like the scripted lies that we see on TV and in the movies. The first person I told was my sister. She knew something was up because of the big smile I had on my face. I was smiling because I’d just done THE thing that everyone talks about. However, I didn’t know that this one event would change my life forever. It lead to lots of heartache, heartbreak, pain, depression, and many pointless relationships.

Path to Healing:

Looking back, all the sexual experiences I had outside of marriage contributed to much pain inside my marriage.  Contrary to popular belief, marriage is NOT a magic wand that will make all the pain of your past just disappear! We will definitely cover this in the upcoming sessions of this series! The first important step I had to take was to let go of my past. The enemy, the devil, used my sexual past to try to destroy my marriage. There was so much shame and guilt (which we will also deal with in another session) that I couldn’t enjoy sex with my husband in the beginning of our marriage. In the scripture above, we see that we have to forget those things which are behind and reach toward those things which are ahead. The only way I was able to even approach this was with the help of  the Holy Spirit. With each experience that was brought back to the forefront of my mind, He gently told me that I was forgiven and set free, that He didn’t see me as dirty and filthy! When we surrender our lives to Jesus, our sins are remembered no more by God but sometimes we have a hard time of letting go because we haven’t let His words uproot the accusatory and shameful lies that we hold on to. What I had to do was sit and think about what happened to me, all the experiences and give them to God, lay them at the foot of the Cross and leave them there. I had to turn to His word and what He said so that I could embrace Him and who He is and embrace who He says that I am. The enemy told me that I didn’t deserve my husband but God said otherwise. I was also told that God would punish me for my sins and that one day I wouldn’t be able to have children, but God has given me 3 beautiful children! I had to take hold of the new me and let go of the old. Now you have to do the same.

Work it out:

Take some time, sit quietly and go back to your past, this time, knowing that Jesus is with you. Let Him minister to your heart. He never meant for us to experience sex outside of what He created it for. He knew that doing so would cause tremendous hurt and pain. Going back for me, I learned that I couldn’t blame myself for what I didn’t know. I couldn’t blame my mom for what she didn’t know. I don’t care what anyone says, ignorance is not bliss. God let me know that He loved me so much and that His plans for me are so much greater than my pain. Through this process, take time to write out these scriptures and meditate on them throughout the week. Begin to commit them to memory.

  1. Philippians 3:12-13
  2. 1 Corinthians 5: 17
  3. Matthew 11:28-30
  4. Psalm 139 (I know it’s long but if you don’t want to write the entire thing, pick the verses that speak to you the most)
  5. Jeremiah 19:11
  6. 1 John 1:9
  7. Isaiah 43:18-19
  8. Galatians 2:20
  9. 2 Corinthians 3:17

Prayer:

Gracious and loving Father, thank you for your unconditional love, mercy and grace. Thank you Jesus for the forgiveness of sin.  I pray for every person who decides to take on this challenge and that you will give them the strength they need to press through. Bring to their remembrance experiences that they need to lay at the foot of the Cross that they may press forward towards all that you have for them! Father, begin to replace the lies that they believe about themselves with your beautiful truths. In Jesus’ name, Amen

I look forward to hearing about your experiences this week and if there are any othre scriptures you’d like to share, questions or you just want to chat with someone who’s walking this same path, join us in the closed Facebook group here!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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Sexual Healing Series

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Hi!!

I know, it’s been a while. But, when God says to pause, I pause and when He says to move, I move. It’s now time to move, to do something new. I thought that the time was done for Savin’ it for Hubby but God was preparing me to move it in a different direction.

This new direction if for those of us that are no longer virgins but have decided to follow Christ and are now wondering, so now what? Where do I go from here? What so many of us fail to see is the brokenness that remains because of our past sexual decisions. So God led me to my own story of redemption. How did I get past my past, my hurts. What’s my “after Christ” story? He showed me that a lot of His daughters are here, married, single or divorced.  So, beginning next week, Monday May 8th, 2017, we’ll begin a series called “Sexual Healing”. I know the Marvin Gaye song just popped into your head, sorry, but this will have nothing to do with him!

God didn’t lead me to teach about purity until after I was already married and a lot of people believe that marriage takes away the need for purity and that’s a huge lie! Purity still matters in marriage! Also, many of you aspire to be married but I’ve found that many women think that getting married will take away all the pain, heartache and heartbreak from their past, also another huge lie!

Well, in this series I will go back to my story, and through it walk with you on the path to sexual healing. I will teach you what God taught me.  I’ll share about how I had to forgive myself, others and even deal with my anger towards God! I’ll also share how all we will ever need comes from Him and that having a spouse should be an addition to your wholeness and not meant to complete you. Also, I’ll cover redemption, restoration, and how to go to God in dealing with loneliness which can also happen in marriage! There will be questions and lots of scriptures so be prepared with your Bible and your favorite journal or notebook and pretty pens! Transparency is key for this to be successful and it won’t be an easy walk but it will be so worth it!

So, will you make plans to join me? Jump in with both feet, an open heart and mind? Find an accountability partner and lets get healed! I’ve created a Facebook Group just for this series. This is where we can dialog, questions can be asked, answered and we can share what we’re learning as well. This is a closed group. If you’re interested, the link to the group is below and I will approve you for access. I’m praying with and for you!

FB Group Link: Click here

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon