Tag Archives: sex

So, How Do I Stop Having Premarital Sex?

So, you’ve decided to stop having sex outside of marriage but man, seriously, those urges didn’t just up and disappear because you said yes to God, right? If anything, in some instances, they’ve probably gotten worse, right? Yeah, I know. Well, there are some things you must understand first in order to be successful in your walk of purity.

First, you have to understand that this is a spiritual battle. It’s not just against your fleshly desires. Second, there’s no way on this earth that you can walk this walk alone. Third, realizing that something in you has been awakened prematurely and only God can put it back to sleep. And fourth, this will require some work on your part as well.

What in the world am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell you a few things, without typing a dissertation:

Contrary to what we’ve all been told, sex, including oral, was reserved for marriage.  A gift from God to married couples.  We see evidence of this act in the book of Genesis (Genesis 4:1). Sex was also created by God. Which means, He knows why He created it and what happens when it’s done outside of why it was created. God meant for sex to be good and pleasurable and this is what gets us into trouble.  We all agree that it’s good and pleasurable! Guess who also knows this about sex? Satan. Remember I said that this is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:10-18). Satan has succeeded in perverting this act and taking it out of the context of why it was created therefore instead of sex being a blessing for marriage and procreation, it has become a curse because it has been abused and the marriage bed defiled.

Now, on to why you still want sex. You still want it because you’ve been awakened in this area and because the power of sex is not easily shaken.  It’s binding, sex joins you to another person, you become one with this person. Sounds familiar? Yes because this is what happens in marriage (Genesis 2: 23-24). In the Bible we are warned in Song of Solomon (2:7) not to awaken love before its time and not just sex but allowing someone to become so intimate with you emotionally as well. For women, this is how we are taken down. Our emotions! Ok…….

  1. If you haven’t done so, soul ties that have been formed with anyone you’ve had sex with must be broken.

From Pastor Chris Simpson, New Wine Christian Fellowship http://www.newwineonline.com:  

STEPS TO BREAKING UNGODLY SOUL TIES:

  • Confess any and all ungodly ties to the Lord. Repent from your heart for violating God’s ordained boundaries in your relationships.
  • Make a solemn commitment to the Lord to break off any relationship that is not pure or righteous in His eyes. Become accountable to others to help you keep that commitment. Until you do that, any prayers for freedom are in vain. I’ve actually had people ask me to break their unhealthy soul ties so that when they got together again (in their illicit relationship), they wouldn’t feel all those bad spirits. However, God is not mocked. Reinforce your requests to the Lord with a commitment to obey.
  • Before praying, do whatever is necessary for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to come. This is so important. Pray, wait, forgive, or worship. Once His presence and anointing is present, then proceed with the soul tie breaking prayer. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. The ties won’t break with a simple prayer from the mind. The anointed power of the Holy Spirit must be present to be effective.

SOUL TIE BREAKING PRAYER 

“In the name of Jesus Christ I now renounce, break and loose myself from all demonic subjection and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bondings with the following people: (break soul ties with each person that comes to mind)”

“Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies to: obsessive preoccupations, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation and disobedience in relationships.”

“Finally, in the name of Jesus, I declare every demonic hold in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties null and void. Satan, I renounce you and your demons and command you to depart from my spirit, soul and body!”

  1. Once the ties have been broken, check your circle. Who do you hang with? Are they trying to walk the same walk as you? If not, then you might need to break up with them too!
  2. What are you watching, reading, listening to? All of this plays a part in the success of walking in purity. Purity is more than not having sex, it’s making sure that our heart and mind lines up with the word of God. If you’re watching things like Being Mary Jane, Scandal and Love and Hip Hop, then you’ll likely be influenced by these shows.  Without going too far down the rabbit trail, Satan was once Lucifer, Archangel of worship, had a beautiful voice, etc, so because of his pride he was kicked out of heaven. Satan wants to be God, and he wants us to worship him, not God so certain types of music, turn our hearts to sinful desires and not to worship and glorify God. Music is powerful! Notice how you react when you listen to certain types, same goes for TV shows. The Bible tells us to take certain thoughts and ideas captive (2 Corinthians 5:10) The Bible also tells us that once we are set free through Christ, make sure that we stay free and not get tied up again (Galatians 5:1, 13)
  3. As I said before, you can’t walk this walk alone. Have people who will hold you accountable and that you trust to be transparent with. Transparency is key! Most importantly, have a RELATIONSHIP with God. Holy Spirit was sent to guide us and comfort us. Don’t ignore Him or forget about Him. Our flesh is constantly warring with our spirit and sometimes the battle is just too hard for us to fight. The Bible says “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves” (Galatians 5:16). Remember that even if you find yourself in a compromising situation, God always provides a way out, you just have to take it! (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

There’s temptation everywhere at any given time.  We all know this. We have to learn how to navigate through this mess. We can’t see everything that’s coming at us but God can.  You may still have sexual urges but they don’t have to rule you. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). When you don’t have the energy or “want to” to flee, pray, I guarantee you, God will show up. Do you trust God to help you with this? You have to surrender your sex life to Him. Trust Him to bring along the one He chose for you. Also, if you do fall, repent, get up and keep fighting.  Don’t condemn yourself because God doesn’t condemn you. He wants you to have His best. Don’t settle just because you’re horny. Find some emergency verses, an item that will remind you that you can do this, remind you of why you’re doing this, whether it’s a purity ring or bracelet (such as our signature bracelet :-)). Have some emergency phone numbers too. Know what your triggers are. If Valentine’s day is a trigger, make plans with friends or family so that you can head off temptation to fall back into old habits.  God will honor and bless your efforts! Don’t forget to do your part! God will handle what you can’t! Feel free to share anything that’s helped you as well!

Be blessed and encouraged,

Shannon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Savin’ it for Hubby Signature Bracelet!

 

This hand crafted bracelet is made with faceted black agate stones with a pave’ crystal accent and fashioned with an acrylic heart shaped charm with the initials “sifh”.

This bracelet is for women young, old, married or single. This bracelet is meant to serve as a stylish reminder for single women that they are worth more and if they’re ever in a compromising situation that they can’t lose by saving themselves for their future husbands and seeing themselves as God does, beautiful, priceless, His!

For married women, this unique bracelet can serve as a reminder in the good times to save themselves, their time and energy for their husbands. And for when things are bad and the desire to compromise their marriage, that they can’t go wrong with trusting God to work things out for them.

This bracelet is simply stylish and serves as a great accent piece to any outfit, day or night!

Savin’ it for Hubby’s Mission is to teach women young and old, single or married, God’s truth about their value, worth and sexuality!

Click here to order!

 

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


POLL: Will You Take A Second To Vote?

 

Thank you so much for taking time to vote!!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


What Does God’s Word Say About Sex?

purity-article-header-mirage-marriageHi! I’m so excited to begin this journey with you through God’s Word! Why am I so excited? I am excited because one of the greatest lies ever told will now be demolished! What’s this lie? The lie is that God has nothing to say about sex! Oh, He has lots to say! For all the questions and doubts you’ve had concerning sex, I challenge you to join in and find out the answers for yourself! This is about you and God, no one else! Take the time to really meditate on God’s Word and let Holy Spirit minister to your heart. Let truth replace all the lies that have been told to you and that you’ve told to yourself.

Over the next thirty-one days, pray for revelation, journal the entire scripture or parts that really hit home for you and meditate on the passages.  Let God’s truth set you free.  I’ll be following along as well and will, as Holy Spirit leads, post what revelation I get or have gotten from the scriptures as well as how they’ve helped me on my journey to purity and healing from my past hurts.  If you need accountability, follow Savin’ it for Hubby on Facebook and post any questions, concerns or any revelation that you’ve received.  You will not be on this journey alone. I look forward to hearing from you!

Below is the link to download the plan!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

August SWP


New! Scripture Writing Plans

Hi!! So coming soon to SIFH, Monthly Scripture Writing Plans! There will be a new theme every month. August’s theme is ” What Does God’s Word Say About Sex?” Do you know? From my time of study, He has lots to say! Join us to find out the truth for yourself and spread the word to any and everyone that you know! Remember, we have to study to show our selves approved! Looking forward to journeying with you through scripture!

Monthly Scripture Writing plan announcement

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


God of the Storm

holding onSometimes things happen to us in our lives that are painful, like gut wrenching pain.  The first question we ask is why. Why did this have to happen to me? Why now? It never makes sense in the midst of it.  It just hurts. No one can offer any solace; although they mean well, their words don’t seem to take the pain away.  Somehow in the midst of all this pain you find that you get through the day and wake up the next morning realizing somehow you made it through.  What we don’t realize is that in the pain, there’s something bigger and greater going on that’s being orchestrated by Someone who’s bigger and greater than the pain we feel. When my mom died a month after I had my first daughter, my heart was crushed! My mom had only seen her granddaughter once before she died! Just imagine; after giving birth, via C-section, your mom pass and you are left with weird hormonal feelings, soreness, swollen breasts, a new baby and new husband with no guidance what so ever! I was angry, hurt and very disappointed! Many thoughts and questions consumed my mind. Why did she have to die after my baby was born? Why now Lord? I don’t know what I’m doing!  I need my mom! My baby girl (either of them, because now I have two daughters) would never know her grandmother! Who would I call when I had questions without my mom here? Who would I talk to about all I was going through on this new journey I’d embarked on?  Well, when I asked the Lord why, He heard my cry and gave me an answer as to why.  Now, keep in mind He didn’t have to tell me anything. He is God, but He is also love and He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).   As painful as it was, I understood why and He gave me comfort in His answer.  In spite of the loss of my mom, I became a great mother and wife and God gave me spiritual moms to provide guidance and comfort along the way. As a result of my mom’s death, our family became closer and it deepened my relationship with my sister.  I also feel that my mom’s death made me appreciate life more, realizing it is short and precious. So, I have to make the most of every moment I have with my daughters.

It is important to realize that although we go through pain, God sees all and He will help us through it.  After all, He did say that He would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).  In this pain, I have found strength that I didn’t know I had and I have come to know God more intimately.  He became my mother and my father.  He has become all that I need and will ever need on this life journey.  Here are some pearls of wisdom I have learned that I want to share with you in hopes it will give you peace in the middle of your storm (pain).

  1. God, even though He loves us beyond words, is more interested in building our character than He is in our comfort. It doesn’t feel good and it all seems bad but, we know that in all things God works things out for the good of those who love Him, who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
  2. God is purposeful.  He uses every tear, every joy, every heartache and pain to mold and shape us into who He created us to be. He is the potter; we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8).
  3. What we go through, whether good or bad, it’s for God’s glory, our good and to help someone else along the way. We shouldn’t be afraid to share our story with others especially if you’re getting the nudge from the Lord to do so.  God has a great way of orchestrating divine connections.  You never know, your testimony may be just what the other person needed to lead them to God.  We need each other and God didn’t mean for us to go through life alone.  (John 13:34-35)
  4. What we go through will either cause us to run to God or run away from Him, the choice is ours. You will never be alone if you run to Him!
  5. He’s waiting to love on us and strengthen us through our pain.
  6. Most importantly, I’ve learned that through pain, comes purpose! Through the pain and consequences of premarital sex, came my purpose/ministry, Savin’ it for Hubby.  By me sharing my story, I help others see that they are not alone, God still loves them and wants them, and He has taken away all shame and guilt and most of all He is the Great Restorer!

I don’t know what painful situation you’re in right now but God does and will be with you through it all if you ask Him too.  If you’re going through a divorce, He still loves you and will take care of you. If you have lost someone dear to you, He will be there to wipe every tear away. (Isaiah 25:8) Nothing is too hard for God to handle! (Jeremiah 32:17). So, release your pain, trust Him and let Him give you rest.

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


38 Things I’ve Learned In My 38 years of Life

lifelessons

  1. God is….(whatever you need Him to be :-))
  2. Guarding your heart is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
  3. Health is definitely wealth.
  4. People are people are people.
  5. You can only change you!
  6. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing and sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing.
  7. No matter how much wisdom or wise counsel you give, ultimately, people will do what they want to do.
  8. People will ask for your advice and still go do something stupid.
  9. Guilt can always be seen on a person’s face.
  10. People, situations and some circumstances are seasonal and that’s perfectly fine!
  11. You won’t always get what you give.
  12. You can’t put your expectations on others.
  13. You are responsible for your own happiness.
  14. No human will and isn’t supposed to “complete” you.
  15. Pain can definitely become your purpose.
  16. Not everyone is your friend, they’re really an acquaintance.
  17. A person will avoid telling you things because they know that what you’ll say isn’t what they want to hear.
  18. Life sucks sometimes but it could be a lot worse.
  19. Sex outside of marriage never satisfies and it never will.
  20. There’s no such thing as perfection on this side of heaven.
  21. Being different is a great thing!
  22. People really are a blessing or a lesson, geez!!
  23. Always  check your circle!
  24. People will dislike you for something that’s in their own heart.
  25. It doesn’t hurt to smile 🙂
  26. Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen, nothing more, nothing less.
  27. It pays to be observant.
  28. You get along better with perfect strangers sometimes better than your own family.
  29. You can’t want greater for another person more than they want it for themselves.
  30. Truth will repel those who aren’t ready/willing to hear it.
  31. Kindness always wins.
  32. It’s painful to check yourself but so very necessary.
  33. Children have selective hearing!
  34. Marriage is work!
  35. Family definitely doesn’t always mean biological.
  36. Learning from others mistakes is priceless.
  37. Loving others is risky but beautiful.
  38. The only way someone can steal your joy is if you allow it!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon


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