Finally! It’s here! My book, Love, Jesus, Sex: Experiences & Lessons Learnedis available for purchase! I’m so excited and nervous! I pray that this book blesses you and brings you closer to our Lord & Savior, the lover of our souls, Jesus Christ!! God bless you and thank you for all your faithful support, love and prayers!!
So, in case you’re wondering, a bit about the book:
Who is it for? Any woman, any age, married, single, divorced. Men can read it too for various insight :-).
What is it about?This book is my heart. It tells my story and through my story I share a little of what I’ve learned about love, Jesus & sex and marriage. I share what so many of us wishes that our mom would have shared with us!
When is a good time to read this book? Now! Share it with your daughters, mothers, aunts, sister, friend, mentees, mentors, small group!
Where? Any where! While I am very straightforward, it’s done very tastefully, tactfully and in much love! So don’t be afraid to share it in church! Afterall, isn’t church where we’re supposed to learn the truth about sex?
Why?I share this book, my stories, because I want to spare others the pain and heartache I went through, I want my sisters to be free and I want them to know TRUTH!!
So, you’ve decided to stop having sex outside of marriage but man, seriously, those urges didn’t just up and disappear because you said yes to God, right? If anything, in some instances, they’ve probably gotten worse, right? Yeah, I know. Well, there are some things you must understand first in order to be successful in your walk of purity.
First, you have to understand that this is a spiritual battle. It’s not just against your fleshly desires. Second, there’s no way on this earth that you can walk this walk alone. Third, realizing that something in you has been awakened prematurely and only God can put it back to sleep. And fourth, this will require some work on your part as well.
What in the world am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell you a few things, without typing a dissertation:
Contrary to what we’ve all been told, sex, including oral, was reserved for marriage. A gift from God to married couples. We see evidence of this act in the book of Genesis (Genesis 4:1). Sex was also created by God. Which means, He knows why He created it and what happens when it’s done outside of why it was created. God meant for sex to be good and pleasurable and this is what gets us into trouble. We all agree that it’s good and pleasurable! Guess who also knows this about sex? Satan. Remember I said that this is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:10-18). Satan has succeeded in perverting this act and taking it out of the context of why it was created therefore instead of sex being a blessing for marriage and procreation, it has become a curse because it has been abused and the marriage bed defiled.
Now, on to why you still want sex. You still want it because you’ve been awakened in this area and because the power of sex is not easily shaken. It’s binding, sex joins you to another person, you become one with this person. Sounds familiar? Yes because this is what happens in marriage (Genesis 2: 23-24). In the Bible we are warned in Song of Solomon (2:7) not to awaken love before its time and not just sex but allowing someone to become so intimate with you emotionally as well. For women, this is how we are taken down. Our emotions! Ok…….
If you haven’t done so, soul ties that have been formed with anyone you’ve had sex with must be broken.
From Pastor Chris Simpson, New Wine Christian Fellowship http://www.newwineonline.com:
STEPS TO BREAKING UNGODLY SOUL TIES:
Confess any and all ungodly ties to the Lord. Repent from your heart for violating God’s ordained boundaries in your relationships.
Make a solemn commitment to the Lord to break off any relationship that is not pure or righteous in His eyes. Become accountable to others to help you keep that commitment. Until you do that, any prayers for freedom are in vain. I’ve actually had people ask me to break their unhealthy soul ties so that when they got together again (in their illicit relationship), they wouldn’t feel all those bad spirits. However, God is not mocked. Reinforce your requests to the Lord with a commitment to obey.
Before praying, do whatever is necessary for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to come. This is so important. Pray, wait, forgive, or worship. Once His presence and anointing is present, then proceed with the soul tie breaking prayer. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. The ties won’t break with a simple prayer from the mind. The anointed power of the Holy Spirit must be present to be effective.
SOUL TIE BREAKING PRAYER
“In the name of Jesus Christ I now renounce, break and loose myself from all demonic subjection and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bondings with the following people: (break soul ties with each person that comes to mind)”
“Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies to: obsessive preoccupations, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation and disobedience in relationships.”
“Finally, in the name of Jesus, I declare every demonic hold in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties null and void. Satan, I renounce you and your demons and command you to depart from my spirit, soul and body!”
Once the ties have been broken, check your circle. Who do you hang with? Are they trying to walk the same walk as you? If not, then you might need to break up with them too!
What are you watching, reading, listening to? All of this plays a part in the success of walking in purity. Purity is more than not having sex, it’s making sure that our heart and mind lines up with the word of God. If you’re watching things like Being Mary Jane, Scandal and Love and Hip Hop, then you’ll likely be influenced by these shows. Without going too far down the rabbit trail, Satan was once Lucifer, Archangel of worship, had a beautiful voice, etc, so because of his pride he was kicked out of heaven. Satan wants to be God, and he wants us to worship him, not God so certain types of music, turn our hearts to sinful desires and not to worship and glorify God. Music is powerful! Notice how you react when you listen to certain types, same goes for TV shows. The Bible tells us to take certain thoughts and ideas captive (2 Corinthians 5:10) The Bible also tells us that once we are set free through Christ, make sure that we stay free and not get tied up again (Galatians 5:1, 13)
As I said before, you can’t walk this walk alone. Have people who will hold you accountable and that you trust to be transparent with. Transparency is key! Most importantly, have a RELATIONSHIP with God. Holy Spirit was sent to guide us and comfort us. Don’t ignore Him or forget about Him. Our flesh is constantly warring with our spirit and sometimes the battle is just too hard for us to fight. The Bible says “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves” (Galatians 5:16). Remember that even if you find yourself in a compromising situation, God always provides a way out, you just have to take it! (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)
There’s temptation everywhere at any given time. We all know this. We have to learn how to navigate through this mess. We can’t see everything that’s coming at us but God can. You may still have sexual urges but they don’t have to rule you. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). When you don’t have the energy or “want to” to flee, pray, I guarantee you, God will show up. Do you trust God to help you with this? You have to surrender your sex life to Him. Trust Him to bring along the one He chose for you. Also, if you do fall, repent, get up and keep fighting. Don’t condemn yourself because God doesn’t condemn you. He wants you to have His best. Don’t settle just because you’re horny. Find some emergency verses, an item that will remind you that you can do this, remind you of why you’re doing this, whether it’s a purity ring or bracelet (such as our signature bracelet :-)). Have some emergency phone numbers too. Know what your triggers are. If Valentine’s day is a trigger, make plans with friends or family so that you can head off temptation to fall back into old habits. God will honor and bless your efforts! Don’t forget to do your part! God will handle what you can’t! Feel free to share anything that’s helped you as well!
Here it is! September’s scripture writing plan is all about God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness. August, we took time to really dig into scripture to see what God’s Word says about sex. If you’re like me, you found out about the ill effects of sex outside of marriage the hard way. Walking in purity is for everyone whether you’re married or not and we can’t walk this walk without God and the power of His Word. We in our flesh can’t stand against all the temptation but with Him all things are possible!
Now that we know the truth about sex, let’s learn about God’s mercy, grace and forgiveness for us that was given through the blood of Christ! This is all for us, His children, IF you’ve surrendered your life to Christ.
Take this month to learn God’s heart for us and what Jesus’ death on the cross has done for us! Praise God for the Blood and for His grace, mercy and forgiveness!!
Hi! I’m so excited to begin this journey with you through God’s Word! Why am I so excited? I am excited because one of the greatest lies ever told will now be demolished! What’s this lie? The lie is that God has nothing to say about sex! Oh, He has lots to say! For all the questions and doubts you’ve had concerning sex, I challenge you to join in and find out the answers for yourself! This is about you and God, no one else! Take the time to really meditate on God’s Word and let Holy Spirit minister to your heart. Let truth replace all the lies that have been told to you and that you’ve told to yourself.
Over the next thirty-one days, pray for revelation, journal the entire scripture or parts that really hit home for you and meditate on the passages. Let God’s truth set you free. I’ll be following along as well and will, as Holy Spirit leads, post what revelation I get or have gotten from the scriptures as well as how they’ve helped me on my journey to purity and healing from my past hurts. If you need accountability, follow Savin’ it for Hubby on Facebook and post any questions, concerns or any revelation that you’ve received. You will not be on this journey alone. I look forward to hearing from you!
The morning started out like any other, I wake the girls up for school, leave the room, come and wake them again. They argue, complain and then get dressed. After a few pushes to get them out the door, they’re off to school and then I’m ready for my day with Caleb. Well, this particular morning, Caleb was still upstairs with my husband and I figured I’d sit downstairs for a few minutes of quiet before I have to start my marathon with Caleb who isn’t walking yet but still a baby tornado who can destroy a room in 5 minutes flat! After Hubby changed Caleb’s diaper, he was on his way to bring him downstairs to me and then I heard the most horrifying noise ever; my husband yell and then the scariest rumble, another yell, then screaming from Caleb! My heart jumped in to my throat and I ran to the stairs not knowing what to expect! When I got to the stairs my Hubby was holding a terrified little infant who was screaming his head off, so I took Caleb from him, checked him out and praise God, my little one was ok! Then I looked at my husband and he was not. In his efforts to protect Caleb during the unfortunate slip of his foot on the stairs, my husband had shifted his weight in a way that landed all 6’2″, 200 plus pounds on his left leg and ankle. His left foot was turned unnaturally left and you could see the bone had completely dislocated! There was no way to get him off the stairs and so I had to call an ambulance. This happened in April….
Now in the beginning of the year, February I believe, my youngest daughter had outpatient surgery and then in early April I had outpatient surgery and now we are in the process of selling our townhouse and buying a house. In the whole chaos of preparing our house to be sold, my husband due to his slip on the stairs, which required surgety to reset the bone in his leg and his ankle, cannot put any weight on it at all for 6 weeks, can’t do much of anything other than holding Caleb. We still have about 2.5 weeks to before he can even attempt to walk, so all the heavy lifting, cleaning, cooking, kids stuff has been on me. Needless to say 2016 has been very interesting to say the least thus far!
Last week, I was beyond exhausted and I decided that God and I needed to have a little chat! Seriously Lord, what in the world is going on?! There has been a whirlwind of events in the first few months of this year, what are you trying to get me to see?
He then led me to Romans 8:28: And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
I’ve always looked at this verse as a “feel good” verse, all things are working for my GOOD, Amen! LOL! I’ve always just focused on “my good”. But He made me go and focus on “all”. He said, Shannon all means all right? Yes Lord, all means all. But, He says, all means the good, the bad, the ugly, the unpretty, the crazy, unpredictable. He said that all things don’t always feel good, look good, smell good, make any sense but for all things to for your good, you have to trust Me. I knew this, I thought I knew this, I felt this was the story of my life but somewhere there had been a disconnect. I guess I needed a reminder! So, I started thinking about he whole stairs fiasco and started praising God even more because that could have been so much worse! My then 10 month old son could have been seriously hurt but he wasn’t hurt at all and my husband could have hurt or broken more than just his ankle and leg! My surgery and daughter’s surgery could have been for something very serious, and instead of selling and buying a home because of our added blessing we could be doing this because of other unpleasant circumstances!
Have things been stressful, oh my goodness yes! I’ve reached a new level of exhaustion but in ALL the events that have happened and currently happening, I’ve found ways to praise God in the midst and I’ve seen and felt Him provide and strengthen me and my family in ways we haven’t experienced before. When God allows things to happen in our lives, theres so much more going on! We always focus on ourselves but when God moves, He’s multi-purposeful, He multitasks. We may think these things are happening to us, for us but it’s not always about us, these events affects those around us as well, even those we don’t know. For instance, the nurse that tended to me when I had my surgery, was of another religion and culture and I was given the opportunity to tell her about Savin’ it for Hubby and a “summary” of God’s purpose for this ministry and how He views sex. She was married, and I don’t know why He had me share with her but He knows. ALL that’s happening in our lives is for our good and though these situations, circumstances, events may not always feel good or look good or shoot, we brought them on ourselves, He can and will turn ALL for our good, but we have to trust Him, His ways, and His timing.
So, I’m still trusting and standing and waiting for a contract on our townhouse and trusting Him for strength to keep this place clean for showings with 3 kids and a dog and a husband on crutches! In ALL of this, I know He’s working things for our good! Y’all pray for me!
Sometimes things happen to us in our lives that are painful, like gut wrenching pain. The first question we ask is why. Why did this have to happen to me? Why now? It never makes sense in the midst of it. It just hurts. No one can offer any solace; although they mean well, their words don’t seem to take the pain away. Somehow in the midst of all this pain you find that you get through the day and wake up the next morning realizing somehow you made it through. What we don’t realize is that in the pain, there’s something bigger and greater going on that’s being orchestrated by Someone who’s bigger and greater than the pain we feel. When my mom died a month after I had my first daughter, my heart was crushed! My mom had only seen her granddaughter once before she died! Just imagine; after giving birth, via C-section, your mom pass and you are left with weird hormonal feelings, soreness, swollen breasts, a new baby and new husband with no guidance what so ever! I was angry, hurt and very disappointed! Many thoughts and questions consumed my mind. Why did she have to die after my baby was born? Why now Lord? I don’t know what I’m doing! I need my mom! My baby girl (either of them, because now I have two daughters) would never know her grandmother! Who would I call when I had questions without my mom here? Who would I talk to about all I was going through on this new journey I’d embarked on? Well, when I asked the Lord why, He heard my cry and gave me an answer as to why. Now, keep in mind He didn’t have to tell me anything. He is God, but He is also love and He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). As painful as it was, I understood why and He gave me comfort in His answer. In spite of the loss of my mom, I became a great mother and wife and God gave me spiritual moms to provide guidance and comfort along the way. As a result of my mom’s death, our family became closer and it deepened my relationship with my sister. I also feel that my mom’s death made me appreciate life more, realizing it is short and precious. So, I have to make the most of every moment I have with my daughters.
It is important to realize that although we go through pain, God sees all and He will help us through it. After all, He did say that He would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). In this pain, I have found strength that I didn’t know I had and I have come to know God more intimately. He became my mother and my father. He has become all that I need and will ever need on this life journey. Here are some pearls of wisdom I have learned that I want to share with you in hopes it will give you peace in the middle of your storm (pain).
God, even though He loves us beyond words, is more interested in building our character than He is in our comfort. It doesn’t feel good and it all seems bad but, we know that in all things God works things out for the good of those who love Him, who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
God is purposeful. He uses every tear, every joy, every heartache and pain to mold and shape us into who He created us to be. He is the potter; we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8).
What we go through, whether good or bad, it’s for God’s glory, our good and to help someone else along the way. We shouldn’t be afraid to share our story with others especially if you’re getting the nudge from the Lord to do so. God has a great way of orchestrating divine connections. You never know, your testimony may be just what the other person needed to lead them to God. We need each other and God didn’t mean for us to go through life alone. (John 13:34-35)
What we go through will either cause us to run to God or run away from Him, the choice is ours. You will never be alone if you run to Him!
He’s waiting to love on us and strengthen us through our pain.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that through pain, comes purpose! Through the pain and consequences of premarital sex, came my purpose/ministry, Savin’ it for Hubby. By me sharing my story, I help others see that they are not alone, God still loves them and wants them, and He has taken away all shame and guilt and most of all He is the Great Restorer!
I don’t know what painful situation you’re in right now but God does and will be with you through it all if you ask Him too. If you’re going through a divorce, He still loves you and will take care of you. If you have lost someone dear to you, He will be there to wipe every tear away. (Isaiah 25:8) Nothing is too hard for God to handle! (Jeremiah 32:17). So, release your pain, trust Him and let Him give you rest.
It’s often said “no pain, no gain” and in some cases this seems to be true. We humans don’t like pain, nor do we enjoy facing painful situations, circumstances or consequences. We don’t want anything taking away our comfort! But, God showed me an interesting way to view pain. You’ve heard that from pain comes purpose, right? Well God showed me that pain can be a weapon as well. The hurts, mistakes, hang-ups, painful situations and consequences are tools of our enemy satan. He set them up to steal from us, kill us and destroy us. That’s his mission, his job (John 10:10). But God! Our Father knew in advance that these situations would happen so He turns these ill fated tools of the enemy into purpose (Romans 8:28)! Our purpose is God’s Kingdom purpose, and God uses this “painful” purpose to defeat satan! The pain in our lives becomes a weapon in the hands of God! God uses this weapon, created by the enemy, to beat him at his own game! Not only that, the pain that’s inflicted, the purpose that is given, only strengthens God’s Kingdom. God’s turning our pain into purpose is a weapon used against the kingdom of darkness. Talking about a revelation! Looking back, I’ve found this to be true in my own life. Savin’ it for Hubby was birthed from painful situations, circumstances and consequences from my own life and God is definitely using Savin’ it for Hubby to defeat the kingdom of darkness by revealing His truth about sex! This is my purpose and I love that I am being used by God to defeat the enemy! To get to this point, I had to face the things that I’d done and that had been done to me that were against God, against His Word and His will for my life. I had to face the pain, allowing God to walk me through and receive His healing. This step must take place or else the enemy still has the power to use these things against you.
Letting God heal and strengthen you turns you into a great threat to the enemy. He knows that God can turn you into someone powerful which is why he tries his best to bring condemnation so that you will run from God instead of running to Him.
No matter what you’ve done or what’s been done to you, nothing can keep you from God but you! He’s always waiting for us with open arms to heal and love on us. We have to remember what God’s purpose is for us and also what the enemy’s purpose is for us too. You have to know your enemy and his tactics in order to defeat him!
Don’t be afraid to face pain, because with God, you’re never facing it alone. Facing it and dealing with it brings you healing and victory and makes you a mighty weapon for God!
On this day, one year ago I had the scare of my life! I’d just found out a week before that we were expecting and I’d gone for my check up and all was well. My hubby and I couldn’t believe we were expecting again and both were still in shock. Well, he was, I kinda knew it was supposed to happen, somewhat….
Three years ago, we purchased our first home and as we were moving in and unpacking, I heard the Lord say that we would have a third child. We have two daughters, Maya now 10 and Ava now 7, I said, ok Lord, how will we fit another kid in this house, as we were moving into a townhouse. He said that the new baby would fit in our room, which was a pretty nice sized master. I remember telling God, ok, but You will have to speak to hubby on that. Hubbs was not hearing having a third kid, he was just fine with our two girls. Well, fast forward three years to the summer of 2014. I can’t remember where I was or what I was doing but I heard the Spirit say, ” You’re going to have a son named Caleb”. I in turn questioned Him of course and asked, “Ok, Lord, to whom should I relay this message?” because surely it wasn’t meant for me. Hubby made it very clear that we were done having kids. Well, maybe a month or so earlier, I’d gone to hubby again and said that I wanted to try for a boy and of course he said no, so I’d let the matter go, made up in my mind that we were done and made peace with it. After all, I couldn’t force my hubby, so I let it go and put my focus into ministry and making great strides in losing weight and toning my body. I was doing a darn good job may I add! Anyway, back to my story. So, I hear that I”m going to have a son named Caleb and that was during the summer. Well months passed and nothing. I began to question what I’d heard and wrote it off as being a little miffed that I’d wanted a son and hubbs said no but I just couldn’t shake the desire for a son. Everywhere I went I saw little boys playing and cute little baby boys!
Fast forward to October 2014. I was preparing for another session of the purity program that I coordinate and my director and I were out shopping and I felt horrible! Didn’t think nothing of it. She convinced me to buy a pregnancy test and I said fine, ok, whatever. I woke up at 4:37am to go to the bathroom and I figured I may as well take the test get it over with so I could mark it off my list as to why I was feeling so bad. I’m sitting waiting for the test results and I look down on the floor where the test was and the lines were hot pink!! I almost fell off the toilet seat!! I hurry to wake up Hubbs to show him and he was surprisingly calm! I just looked at him as if he was crazy because I was freaking out! I’d made up my mind that I was fine without a third kid! My muscles were defined and my belly was deflating, I was down to my goal size 10!
Called the Dr. the next day and via their calculations, I was 6 weeks pregnant! The following week, I go in for my check up and as I said all was well. A week later, my purity classes begin and I’m at church prepping with my director and we’re chatting. (Hope you’re not sensitive, beware of what’s next) While we’re chatting a get the sensation that feels as if I’m urinating on myself. So I rush to the bathroom and get to the stall, I pull my pants down only to see blood, and lots of it! Then, there was a final gush of blood and fluids and I began to scream and cry out for my director. She comes running and I just start crying and screaming that my baby is gone, my baby is gone!! I remember looking at a clot that was left in my underwear and thinking, this is my baby. I remember telling God, you know, I was fine without the third kid, You didn’t have to do this to me! After I calmed down a little I call my husband and he comes to pick me up and we go to the emergency room. I was a mess, I was so hurt but just wanted the whole ordeal to be over. The wait was grueling, I was given IV, and an unusually long ultrasound. During the ultrasound all I could think was why is she taking so long to find something that isn’t there?
Once the doctors and nurses were done invading my privacy, Hubby and I sat and waited in silence. The Dr came in and asked if the ultrasound tech had told us anything, and we answered no. He then says, well, the baby is still alive and the heartbeat is strong!! Hubbs and I were looking at him as if he had two heads! I was like, what in the world was that gush I felt and all the blood?! Well, turns out I had experienced something called a subchorionic hematoma. This is when there’s extra blood and tissue that your body doesn’t absorb and what isn’t absorbed, is expelled during pregnancy. He told us that although the baby seemed fine, but the placenta was starting to detach and there was still a 50/50 chance of miscarriage. The only thing I could do was go home and try to rest. We get home and I’m a nervous wreck! Every time I went to the bathroom was so scary because I was just waiting for something else to happen and every time I saw even a hint of blood I would cry. This all happened over a weekend and on Monday I went to see my Dr. She did and ultrasound and again the baby was there, all was fine and heartbeat was strong. I asked about the placenta pulling away and she said, “whatever happened, it’s healed now”. I just looked at her and said to myself, Lord, really, what are you up to?! So at this time all we knew was that we were having a baby. Where did this Caleb come from Lord? Well, when you’re over the age of 35, they offer genetic testing and you have the chance to find out early the sex of your child. On Christmas eve, we found out that we were having a boy, this indeed was our son Caleb. I could only laugh! Only God, only God!! My husband just looked at me as if I had two heads lol!
Now, one year later, our son Caleb is almost 5 months old and he is the happiest, cutest baby boy ever! We all are so in love!!
I share this story with you, because I want you to know that no matter how things look, no matter what the circumstances look like or point to, if GOD said it, it will come to pass!!! We just have to stand in faith and trust HIM!!! We have to keep our eyes on Him and focus only on what He has said and not all that we hear going on around us! God said that I would have a son named Caleb and in spite of what I saw in the bathroom that night, in spite of what the Dr told us, our baby boy is here, alive and well and keeping us up at night lol!
Our God is faithful and if He said that you will have something, then believe it and watch Him bring it all to pass!!
I pray that you all are well! I’m guest posting on my dear sister LaTanya Quinn’s blog for her ministry, LaTanya Quinn Ministries for a series called The Married and Single Series. You definitely want to check out the wisdom that has been shared thus far as well as the article written by yours truly –Attracting Adam. Praying you’re blessed and will draw closer to the lover of our souls!