Tag Archives: Love and Hip Hop

So, How Do I Stop Having Premarital Sex?

So, you’ve decided to stop having sex outside of marriage but man, seriously, those urges didn’t just up and disappear because you said yes to God, right? If anything, in some instances, they’ve probably gotten worse, right? Yeah, I know. Well, there are some things you must understand first in order to be successful in your walk of purity.

First, you have to understand that this is a spiritual battle. It’s not just against your fleshly desires. Second, there’s no way on this earth that you can walk this walk alone. Third, realizing that something in you has been awakened prematurely and only God can put it back to sleep. And fourth, this will require some work on your part as well.

What in the world am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell you a few things, without typing a dissertation:

Contrary to what we’ve all been told, sex, including oral, was reserved for marriage.  A gift from God to married couples.  We see evidence of this act in the book of Genesis (Genesis 4:1). Sex was also created by God. Which means, He knows why He created it and what happens when it’s done outside of why it was created. God meant for sex to be good and pleasurable and this is what gets us into trouble.  We all agree that it’s good and pleasurable! Guess who also knows this about sex? Satan. Remember I said that this is a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:10-18). Satan has succeeded in perverting this act and taking it out of the context of why it was created therefore instead of sex being a blessing for marriage and procreation, it has become a curse because it has been abused and the marriage bed defiled.

Now, on to why you still want sex. You still want it because you’ve been awakened in this area and because the power of sex is not easily shaken.  It’s binding, sex joins you to another person, you become one with this person. Sounds familiar? Yes because this is what happens in marriage (Genesis 2: 23-24). In the Bible we are warned in Song of Solomon (2:7) not to awaken love before its time and not just sex but allowing someone to become so intimate with you emotionally as well. For women, this is how we are taken down. Our emotions! Ok…….

  1. If you haven’t done so, soul ties that have been formed with anyone you’ve had sex with must be broken.

From Pastor Chris Simpson, New Wine Christian Fellowship http://www.newwineonline.com:  

STEPS TO BREAKING UNGODLY SOUL TIES:

  • Confess any and all ungodly ties to the Lord. Repent from your heart for violating God’s ordained boundaries in your relationships.
  • Make a solemn commitment to the Lord to break off any relationship that is not pure or righteous in His eyes. Become accountable to others to help you keep that commitment. Until you do that, any prayers for freedom are in vain. I’ve actually had people ask me to break their unhealthy soul ties so that when they got together again (in their illicit relationship), they wouldn’t feel all those bad spirits. However, God is not mocked. Reinforce your requests to the Lord with a commitment to obey.
  • Before praying, do whatever is necessary for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to come. This is so important. Pray, wait, forgive, or worship. Once His presence and anointing is present, then proceed with the soul tie breaking prayer. It’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. The ties won’t break with a simple prayer from the mind. The anointed power of the Holy Spirit must be present to be effective.

SOUL TIE BREAKING PRAYER 

“In the name of Jesus Christ I now renounce, break and loose myself from all demonic subjection and any ungodly soul ties and unhealthy bondings with the following people: (break soul ties with each person that comes to mind)”

“Lord, I ask you to do whatever it takes to break me of my tendencies to: obsessive preoccupations, domination, control, passivity, apathy, unforgiveness, anger, blame, accusations, fear, intimidation and disobedience in relationships.”

“Finally, in the name of Jesus, I declare every demonic hold in my life that has come as a result of unhealthy soul ties null and void. Satan, I renounce you and your demons and command you to depart from my spirit, soul and body!”

  1. Once the ties have been broken, check your circle. Who do you hang with? Are they trying to walk the same walk as you? If not, then you might need to break up with them too!
  2. What are you watching, reading, listening to? All of this plays a part in the success of walking in purity. Purity is more than not having sex, it’s making sure that our heart and mind lines up with the word of God. If you’re watching things like Being Mary Jane, Scandal and Love and Hip Hop, then you’ll likely be influenced by these shows.  Without going too far down the rabbit trail, Satan was once Lucifer, Archangel of worship, had a beautiful voice, etc, so because of his pride he was kicked out of heaven. Satan wants to be God, and he wants us to worship him, not God so certain types of music, turn our hearts to sinful desires and not to worship and glorify God. Music is powerful! Notice how you react when you listen to certain types, same goes for TV shows. The Bible tells us to take certain thoughts and ideas captive (2 Corinthians 5:10) The Bible also tells us that once we are set free through Christ, make sure that we stay free and not get tied up again (Galatians 5:1, 13)
  3. As I said before, you can’t walk this walk alone. Have people who will hold you accountable and that you trust to be transparent with. Transparency is key! Most importantly, have a RELATIONSHIP with God. Holy Spirit was sent to guide us and comfort us. Don’t ignore Him or forget about Him. Our flesh is constantly warring with our spirit and sometimes the battle is just too hard for us to fight. The Bible says “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves” (Galatians 5:16). Remember that even if you find yourself in a compromising situation, God always provides a way out, you just have to take it! (1 Corinthians 10:12-13)

There’s temptation everywhere at any given time.  We all know this. We have to learn how to navigate through this mess. We can’t see everything that’s coming at us but God can.  You may still have sexual urges but they don’t have to rule you. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). When you don’t have the energy or “want to” to flee, pray, I guarantee you, God will show up. Do you trust God to help you with this? You have to surrender your sex life to Him. Trust Him to bring along the one He chose for you. Also, if you do fall, repent, get up and keep fighting.  Don’t condemn yourself because God doesn’t condemn you. He wants you to have His best. Don’t settle just because you’re horny. Find some emergency verses, an item that will remind you that you can do this, remind you of why you’re doing this, whether it’s a purity ring or bracelet (such as our signature bracelet :-)). Have some emergency phone numbers too. Know what your triggers are. If Valentine’s day is a trigger, make plans with friends or family so that you can head off temptation to fall back into old habits.  God will honor and bless your efforts! Don’t forget to do your part! God will handle what you can’t! Feel free to share anything that’s helped you as well!

Be blessed and encouraged,

Shannon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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