Categories, freedom

The Evil Heffa: Comparison

freedom from comparison (1)

 

Hi!!!

First of all, I do know that it’s spelled heifer, but I’m a southerner and in Georgia, it’s pronounced heffa. A heffa, in the south, is usually a name given to a female that you don’t like or just really don’t want to be around. Comparison falls in that category for me. I hate comparison but yet fall victim to it sometimes. Comparison is a joy stealer and killer. The bible tells us that the only One we should compare ourselves to is Jesus. We are here to be His hands and feet, His body, serving in different capacities, but yet we fall into the trap of comparison.

Social media doesn’t help us at all does it? We supposedly use it for inspiration, information and connecting with others. Too much of a good thing isn’t good and if we’re not careful, we begin to question our entire existence! I’m sure that men struggle with comparison but we as women really have it bad! We see all the highlight reels of how our bodies should look, how our marriages should be, how our children should act and how our careers or ministry should look and achieve! Seriously!! It’s overwhelming! The enemy satan uses these images to really wreak havoc in our minds.

For instance, I was scrolling through Facebook and someone I follow posted a picture of their happy little family enjoying family time at the beach. Then out of nowhere comes all these thoughts; why do they get to go to the beach? Did she lose weight? Why are her children so perfect? Y’all I’m telling you, being a wife and mom is hard but throw in some comparison issues and it seems as if you are nothing and you’re doing everything wrong! I remember thinking after a hard day of being home with the kids, ALL DAY, Lord, what in the world is wrong with my kids? They were running around chasing each other and the dog and fighting over the remote, fighting for attention and it was overwhelming! Then I think, where have I gone wrong God? Why is that when I mention reading the bible the girls look at me as if I’ve rained on their parade and my son won’t sit still long enough for me to teach him to count to 5!!! Not to mention those days where Hubby and I can’t seem to finish a conversation without it turning into an argument and no matter what each of us says, it’s just the wrong thing to say!

Well, when I had a moment of quiet, I heard Holy Spirit say, in all His love, grace and mercy, “I gave your children and husband to you for My purposes. They need what you have to offer and you need what they have to offer. If they were supposed to act like sister such and such’s kids then I would have given them to her.” Well, how can you argue with that? He also reminded me that what He put in my children, He will use for His kingdom, He’s using them now!

There are greater things going on in our lives than we could ever wrap our little minds around! Christ’s death on the cross freed us from the bondage of comparison! When ever we compare ourselves to others we negate what He’s done on the cross and treat it as if it doesn’t even matter! Here are a few things to remember the next time you fall prey to that heffa Comparison:

  1. You are who God created you to be for a great purpose! He needs what He placed in you for His kingdom and no one else can do what He’s called you to do the way that you can do it! They can try, but it won’t be the same. The anointing won’t be the same and others won’t receive it the same. If God called you to start something that someone else is doing, do it anyway! For instance, I’m very straight forward, bottom-line me type of person, so flowery language kinda annoys me. Just get to the point. But for others, they enjoy the flowery language and need it. So, there has to be bible studies and devotions for the straight forward people and for the flowery language people. If God said it, then He knows who needs what you are offering and will make sure that they find you.
  2. You are enough and you can have what others have. God is a good, good Father and desires to give us good gifts. God’s timing is everything! You may not have some things that you want right not because it’s just not time! God wants what He gives us to be a blessing to us, not a curse. If given to soon, then the blessing can draw us away from Him instead of to Him. Whatever or whoever you desire to have, sit tight, it’s coming. We must trust His timing. I’m so preaching to myself on this one too!
  3. If you’re not where you want to be, change it! Yep, get off your blessed assurance and change it! Don’t like your body, put in the work and change it! Exercising sucks sometimes but I’ve noticed that when I don’t, my body doesn’t function the same and emotionally I’m not as stable and sharp. Seriously, exercise is wonderful for our minds and bodies. Even if all you do is walk for 30 minutes a day or 3 days a week, it’s getting you closer to where you want to be. Want more money, tired of not having what you want, then take the next step and do something. Get your GED, degree, apply for what you want. Give God something to work with. Often times He’s waiting for us to move in faith. Faith without works is dead! Without faith it’s impossible to please God! If you’re healthy and able-bodied, then you have no excuse especially if you’re a child of God. He promises to never leave or forsake us and that He will bless us with what we need and the desires of our hearts, so move forward, trust God, take a step and leave the rest to God. He will do His part, but you must do yours too!
  4. Lastly, remember how incredibly blessed you are! There’s always something to be grateful for. I may not be able to buy that backpack purse I saw on Amazon, but I’m healthy, my family is healthy, we have a roof over our head and we’re not hungry! My hot hunk of chocolate husband loves God and me! Are we where we want to be, nope, not yet but man, we’re not where we used to be and to me that’s evidence that God is working and moving in our lives, but all things in His timing.

So, the next time that heffa comparison comes around, tell her to kick rocks!

Father, thank you for the way that you created me! Thank you for freedom to embrace who I am. Forgive me for believing the lies that have been swimming around in my head. Help me to believe Your truth about who I am. You don’t make mistakes and in me you have placed all that I need to receive all that you have for me. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross and setting me free from comparison. To God be all the glory, honor and praises! In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

38 Things I’ve Learned In My 38 years of Life

lifelessons

  1. God is….(whatever you need Him to be :-))
  2. Guarding your heart is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
  3. Health is definitely wealth.
  4. People are people are people.
  5. You can only change you!
  6. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing and sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing.
  7. No matter how much wisdom or wise counsel you give, ultimately, people will do what they want to do.
  8. People will ask for your advice and still go do something stupid.
  9. Guilt can always be seen on a person’s face.
  10. People, situations and some circumstances are seasonal and that’s perfectly fine!
  11. You won’t always get what you give.
  12. You can’t put your expectations on others.
  13. You are responsible for your own happiness.
  14. No human will and isn’t supposed to “complete” you.
  15. Pain can definitely become your purpose.
  16. Not everyone is your friend, they’re really an acquaintance.
  17. A person will avoid telling you things because they know that what you’ll say isn’t what they want to hear.
  18. Life sucks sometimes but it could be a lot worse.
  19. Sex outside of marriage never satisfies and it never will.
  20. There’s no such thing as perfection on this side of heaven.
  21. Being different is a great thing!
  22. People really are a blessing or a lesson, geez!!
  23. Always  check your circle!
  24. People will dislike you for something that’s in their own heart.
  25. It doesn’t hurt to smile 🙂
  26. Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen, nothing more, nothing less.
  27. It pays to be observant.
  28. You get along better with perfect strangers sometimes better than your own family.
  29. You can’t want greater for another person more than they want it for themselves.
  30. Truth will repel those who aren’t ready/willing to hear it.
  31. Kindness always wins.
  32. It’s painful to check yourself but so very necessary.
  33. Children have selective hearing!
  34. Marriage is work!
  35. Family definitely doesn’t always mean biological.
  36. Learning from others mistakes is priceless.
  37. Loving others is risky but beautiful.
  38. The only way someone can steal your joy is if you allow it!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

Joy & Happiness

Happiness is conditional, based on whether your circumstances and surroundings are working in your favor or in a way that you believe is good for you.

But joy is a choice! You can have joy in the midst of pain and flat out chaos. You can have joy in circumstances where things aren’t going the way you’d hoped and especially when God says no. There’s joy in knowing that God’s “no” means something. It could mean protection, a lesson, of “I have something much better for you”.

Today, I’m choosing joy, the joy of the Lord which is my strength. I hope you choose the same!

Be blessed & encouraged,
Shannon

Categories

Everything!

depend on GodAs a woman of God, whether single or married, you have to get to a place in your life where you know how to go to God for EVERYTHING!

I mean every need you have be it physically, yes, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Why? Because the people and things in our lives are only meant to compliment our lives, not to become our lives.  Humans can only do and handle so much.  It’s impossible for people to keep up with our every demand, emotion or need.  It’s exhausting! Have you ever tried to be everything to someone? It’s impossible! You will wear yourself out! For instance in marriage or seeking marriage, we often look for someone to be our “knight in shining armor” to “complete us”. These expectations were truly meant for fairy tales.  These are unrealistic expectations that will truly set you up for disappointment.  I learned this the hard way.  In the beginning of our marriage, I expected my husband to love me unconditionally, do what I needed and wanted when I needed it and wanted it done.  I wanted him to be affectionate, loving, make me feel good about myself, make me feel secure, take care of me and always see me as beautiful whether I was looking good physically or not! I wanted him to complete me because I felt so empty. I put all these unrealistic expectations on him that when he failed even once, my life was devastated! Then came the thoughts that tormented me about him not loving me, or caring all because he missed one of my many unrealistic expectations.  He’s a man, he’s human and can only do so much.  The greatest mistake we can make is in looking to find someone to complete us! Not possible.  You are setting yourself up for failure if you’re looking for another incomplete person to complete you! The only One who can complete you is God and thonly One that complete the person you’re seeking to complete you is God.  Two incomplete people equals a whole lot of mess!

See, there’s a place for people and things in our lives and there’s a place for God.  We try and try to fill God’s portion with people and things but as God would have it, nothing or no one will ever come close to filling His part, but Him.  He did this purposely so we would always depend on Him.  We were created for Him! Now, having learned this lesson, I receive what love and devotion that my husband can give in his human self. Whatever I feel may be lacking for some reason or another, depending on the day it is, (because we women are emotional creatures), I know how to go to God and ask that He fill or help me to deal with what I feel that I’m missing. I’ve also learned to go to God first to fill me so that what love and affection I receive from my husband and children and those around me are just beautiful bonuses. So if one day I don’t get what I need from the people in my life, it doesn’t devastate me, I have God and have been filled by Him.  When I need to be held and hubby isn’t feeling all lovey dovey, God takes care of it in His own way.  God knows me better than I know myself so He knows exactly how to take care of me.

We all need to get to  a place in life where we teach ourselves to go to God first, then, He takes care of the rest be it through people, things or Him.  Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people and things.  You will live your life in great disappointment. Depend on God for everything and you will never be disappointed!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

Holding On

holding onAlways looking, always expecting, always hoping.

Searching for You, yes I’m expecting to see You!

You said You’d take care of me, never leave me nor forsake me, bless me abundantly,

Lord, I’m holding on to you!

I’m righteous before You, Lord I adore You, I’m holding on to You!

To be with You is my greatest desire, Your love an all consuming fire.

Lord, I’m holding on to You!

To see myself as You do; beautiful, clean, made whole and brand new.

Fearfully and wonderfully made. Lord, I’m holding on to You.

To know You is to love You. Joy unspeakable, grace that’s unthinkable!

Lord, I’m holding on to You!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

One Word, One Verse!

Happy New Year!!!

So I guess everyone’s made their resolutions, or not, but the New Year screams new beginnings for so many.  The tendency is to make this long list of things that we listed last year and the year before that didn’t happen.  Well, this year, I’m not doing that to myself! A wonderful life-saving email appeared in my inbox and totally stunned me! Such a wonderful concept!

I have the bible app via www.Bible.com and the email I received from them was to choose one verse to focus on this year. Seemed simple enough so I began to pray about it, but then I also saw this plan on there that was about focusing on one word for the year, even better! So I started the plan, which is only 4 days long, and was amazed at how my one verse and my one word seems to go hand in hand! God is awesome! For more information about this, click here.

SO my one word is Purpose and my one verse is 1 Timothy 4:16.  This is so freeing for me because, now instead of killing myself with all the things I need to change or accomplish, I can go through my own process of elimination and if whatever it is has nothing to do with my purpose or verse that was given to me by the Holy Spirit, then I waste no time or energy trying to pursue or change it.

Now, I know there  will be challenges along the way as the enemy will definitely try to knock me off course but I can always go back to my one word and one verse to get me back on track.

What do you think? Does this sound simple to you, freeing even?  Check it out for yourself.  Let me know what your one verse and one word is.  Maybe we can walk this out together this year and see if this approach is as good as it seems so far 🙂

Here’s to an amazing 2014!!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

God’s Voice vs Satan’s Voice

Thought this was an awesome reminder as to how God encourages and reassures us while satan seeks to discourage, condemn and tear us down.  We need to know the difference!! Praying this blesses you!

 

God's voice vs satan's voice

 

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

Change

We all go through changes in our lives, some good, some bad.  Some much needed and some unexpected.  Change can bring us such great joy or it can feel as if our lives are falling apart, as if your heart is being ripped from your chest! Whether we like it or not, change is inevitable.

Over the past 3 years, my life has changed dramatically! I quit my job in 2010 because God said that it was time to go but I thought it was just to leave that particular job and go to another, but not so! Little did I know God had something else in store for me, something huge and beyond me! Something that would require my whole life to be changed, shaken and reformed! I’m still in preparation and right now the it doesn’t feel good at all!!! BUT, I know who’s in control and I know that He has me. If you’re a child of God and you have said “Lord, I surrender my life to you” then hold on for the ride of your life!

Jesus came to die for our sins, when we surrender our lives to Him, we die to our sins.  That death to our sins is not always easy but it’s necessary for our lives. The change can be painful at times but in the end it’s so good for us, it’s life for us.  But because we still have flesh, we die kicking and screaming because we don’t want to change because change doesn’t always feel good. We want what feels good, right?! God is more concerned about the development of our character and changing our hearts than our comfort.  He said He would never leave nor forsake us, but He never said that this journey would be easy.

We all have things about us that we need to change or would like to change, but it’s a great relief to know that we don’t have to go through the process of change alone.  God is patient and gentle with us, gently nudging us in the way we should go, shoot I know sometimes He’s had to drag me! But out of His great love, He changes us, gently and lovingly.  So if you’re in some stuff and you know you shouldn’t be or have somethings about you that you want to change, don’t worry about having to do it all by yourself because you can’t, that’s why Jesus died for us.  We are incapable, without Jesus.  He will help you! All you have to do is ask and obey! He didn’t come to condemn but to save and love us.  Talk to Him about the things you want to change, need to change but just can’t seem to do and trust Him to help you because He will, He’s just waiting on the invitation!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

Categories

Soapbox Moment!

Ok, ladies….(big sigh) I know some of you are tired of being single and are really wanting companionship. I know some of you may be in a relationship and you’re settling for Mr. No Good all because you want to be in a relationship and for the sake of saying that you have a “man” and I use the term “man” very loosely! A man does NOT beat you, curse at you, verbally abuse you, treat you like crap, manipulate you, threaten you, use you, destroy your life and make things worse than they have to be or take advantage of you!!! You are God’s daughter, His beloved! God delights in you! He Loves you beyond measure! He has a MAN set aside for you, but first God must become your man!! Your value and worth comes from Him not a man! Stop settling and taking crap! You were created for more!!! You are stronger and wiser than you think! Stop letting fear run your life! God didn’t give you a spirit of fear but of a sound mind! Get up and leave him alone! GOD WILL DEFINITELY TAKE CARE OF YOU! But, only if you allow Him to. He’s not forceful, He’s love and perfect love casts out all fear, there’s no fear in love. God doesn’t condemn but has compassion and He’s waiting to love on you the way you deserve to be loved! Trust God, not man!!
Ok, I’m done now…<3

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon