First of all, I do know that it’s spelled heifer, but I’m a southerner and in Georgia, it’s pronounced heffa. A heffa, in the south, is usually a name given to a female that you don’t like or just really don’t want to be around. Comparison falls in that category for me. I hate comparison but yet fall victim to it sometimes. Comparison is a joy stealer and killer. The bible tells us that the only One we should compare ourselves to is Jesus. We are here to be His hands and feet, His body, serving in different capacities, but yet we fall into the trap of comparison.
Social media doesn’t help us at all does it? We supposedly use it for inspiration, information and connecting with others. Too much of a good thing isn’t good and if we’re not careful, we begin to question our entire existence! I’m sure that men struggle with comparison but we as women really have it bad! We see all the highlight reels of how our bodies should look, how our marriages should be, how our children should act and how our careers or ministry should look and achieve! Seriously!! It’s overwhelming! The enemy satan uses these images to really wreak havoc in our minds.
For instance, I was scrolling through Facebook and someone I follow posted a picture of their happy little family enjoying family time at the beach. Then out of nowhere comes all these thoughts; why do they get to go to the beach? Did she lose weight? Why are her children so perfect? Y’all I’m telling you, being a wife and mom is hard but throw in some comparison issues and it seems as if you are nothing and you’re doing everything wrong! I remember thinking after a hard day of being home with the kids, ALL DAY, Lord, what in the world is wrong with my kids? They were running around chasing each other and the dog and fighting over the remote, fighting for attention and it was overwhelming! Then I think, where have I gone wrong God? Why is that when I mention reading the bible the girls look at me as if I’ve rained on their parade and my son won’t sit still long enough for me to teach him to count to 5!!! Not to mention those days where Hubby and I can’t seem to finish a conversation without it turning into an argument and no matter what each of us says, it’s just the wrong thing to say!
Well, when I had a moment of quiet, I heard Holy Spirit say, in all His love, grace and mercy, “I gave your children and husband to you for My purposes. They need what you have to offer and you need what they have to offer. If they were supposed to act like sister such and such’s kids then I would have given them to her.” Well, how can you argue with that? He also reminded me that what He put in my children, He will use for His kingdom, He’s using them now!
There are greater things going on in our lives than we could ever wrap our little minds around! Christ’s death on the cross freed us from the bondage of comparison! When ever we compare ourselves to others we negate what He’s done on the cross and treat it as if it doesn’t even matter! Here are a few things to remember the next time you fall prey to that heffa Comparison:
- You are who God created you to be for a great purpose! He needs what He placed in you for His kingdom and no one else can do what He’s called you to do the way that you can do it! They can try, but it won’t be the same. The anointing won’t be the same and others won’t receive it the same. If God called you to start something that someone else is doing, do it anyway! For instance, I’m very straight forward, bottom-line me type of person, so flowery language kinda annoys me. Just get to the point. But for others, they enjoy the flowery language and need it. So, there has to be bible studies and devotions for the straight forward people and for the flowery language people. If God said it, then He knows who needs what you are offering and will make sure that they find you.
- You are enough and you can have what others have. God is a good, good Father and desires to give us good gifts. God’s timing is everything! You may not have some things that you want right not because it’s just not time! God wants what He gives us to be a blessing to us, not a curse. If given to soon, then the blessing can draw us away from Him instead of to Him. Whatever or whoever you desire to have, sit tight, it’s coming. We must trust His timing. I’m so preaching to myself on this one too!
- If you’re not where you want to be, change it! Yep, get off your blessed assurance and change it! Don’t like your body, put in the work and change it! Exercising sucks sometimes but I’ve noticed that when I don’t, my body doesn’t function the same and emotionally I’m not as stable and sharp. Seriously, exercise is wonderful for our minds and bodies. Even if all you do is walk for 30 minutes a day or 3 days a week, it’s getting you closer to where you want to be. Want more money, tired of not having what you want, then take the next step and do something. Get your GED, degree, apply for what you want. Give God something to work with. Often times He’s waiting for us to move in faith. Faith without works is dead! Without faith it’s impossible to please God! If you’re healthy and able-bodied, then you have no excuse especially if you’re a child of God. He promises to never leave or forsake us and that He will bless us with what we need and the desires of our hearts, so move forward, trust God, take a step and leave the rest to God. He will do His part, but you must do yours too!
- Lastly, remember how incredibly blessed you are! There’s always something to be grateful for. I may not be able to buy that backpack purse I saw on Amazon, but I’m healthy, my family is healthy, we have a roof over our head and we’re not hungry! My hot hunk of chocolate husband loves God and me! Are we where we want to be, nope, not yet but man, we’re not where we used to be and to me that’s evidence that God is working and moving in our lives, but all things in His timing.
So, the next time that heffa comparison comes around, tell her to kick rocks!
Father, thank you for the way that you created me! Thank you for freedom to embrace who I am. Forgive me for believing the lies that have been swimming around in my head. Help me to believe Your truth about who I am. You don’t make mistakes and in me you have placed all that I need to receive all that you have for me. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross and setting me free from comparison. To God be all the glory, honor and praises! In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Be blessed & encouraged,