Categories, Sexual Healing Series

The Past is the Past (Sexual Healing Series)

Happy Monday! Today begins our Sexual Healing Series and I’m so excited to begin this journey with you! I’ve been praying for God’s direction for this series and I’ve been praying for you all as well!

A few things before we get started:

  • Pray for Holy Spirit to be with you and guide you through this process as you won’t be able to do this alone.
  • Get a prayer partner or accountability partner or join our closed Sexual Healing group on Facebook here.
  • Be open and honest with yourself and transparent with your prayer partner or accountability person about any struggles or issues you’re having.
  • Enjoy the journey knowing that God is on your side and is more than willing to heal you!

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Scripture: 

Philippians 3:12-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

Pressing toward the Goal

12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,


The first time I had sex, I was 14 years old and the guy was 22 years old. I’d just really started taking an interest in guys and was still rather awkward and shy around them but I did notice that I liked the attention that I was getting. My mom had a pretty serious drug and alcohol problem and the attention from the opposite sex proved to be a relief from my current circumstances. He’d told me that no one had to know and that he wouldn’t tell anyone, that everything would be ok.  That he would stop if it hurt too badly. I’m thinking, he’s older and he’s cute and out of all the girls, other than his girlfriend that he lived with, across the hall from me, he chose me. So I agreed. When his girlfriend had left, I went over to their apartment and that’s where my I gave away a very precious gift. Only, I didn’t know how precious it was because no one had ever told me, not even my mom, because she didn’t know either. The experience was very painful, not at all like the scripted lies that we see on TV and in the movies. The first person I told was my sister. She knew something was up because of the big smile I had on my face. I was smiling because I’d just done THE thing that everyone talks about. However, I didn’t know that this one event would change my life forever. It lead to lots of heartache, heartbreak, pain, depression, and many pointless relationships.

Path to Healing:

Looking back, all the sexual experiences I had outside of marriage contributed to much pain inside my marriage.  Contrary to popular belief, marriage is NOT a magic wand that will make all the pain of your past just disappear! We will definitely cover this in the upcoming sessions of this series! The first important step I had to take was to let go of my past. The enemy, the devil, used my sexual past to try to destroy my marriage. There was so much shame and guilt (which we will also deal with in another session) that I couldn’t enjoy sex with my husband in the beginning of our marriage. In the scripture above, we see that we have to forget those things which are behind and reach toward those things which are ahead. The only way I was able to even approach this was with the help of  the Holy Spirit. With each experience that was brought back to the forefront of my mind, He gently told me that I was forgiven and set free, that He didn’t see me as dirty and filthy! When we surrender our lives to Jesus, our sins are remembered no more by God but sometimes we have a hard time of letting go because we haven’t let His words uproot the accusatory and shameful lies that we hold on to. What I had to do was sit and think about what happened to me, all the experiences and give them to God, lay them at the foot of the Cross and leave them there. I had to turn to His word and what He said so that I could embrace Him and who He is and embrace who He says that I am. The enemy told me that I didn’t deserve my husband but God said otherwise. I was also told that God would punish me for my sins and that one day I wouldn’t be able to have children, but God has given me 3 beautiful children! I had to take hold of the new me and let go of the old. Now you have to do the same.

Work it out:

Take some time, sit quietly and go back to your past, this time, knowing that Jesus is with you. Let Him minister to your heart. He never meant for us to experience sex outside of what He created it for. He knew that doing so would cause tremendous hurt and pain. Going back for me, I learned that I couldn’t blame myself for what I didn’t know. I couldn’t blame my mom for what she didn’t know. I don’t care what anyone says, ignorance is not bliss. God let me know that He loved me so much and that His plans for me are so much greater than my pain. Through this process, take time to write out these scriptures and meditate on them throughout the week. Begin to commit them to memory.

  1. Philippians 3:12-13
  2. 1 Corinthians 5: 17
  3. Matthew 11:28-30
  4. Psalm 139 (I know it’s long but if you don’t want to write the entire thing, pick the verses that speak to you the most)
  5. Jeremiah 19:11
  6. 1 John 1:9
  7. Isaiah 43:18-19
  8. Galatians 2:20
  9. 2 Corinthians 3:17

Prayer:

Gracious and loving Father, thank you for your unconditional love, mercy and grace. Thank you Jesus for the forgiveness of sin.  I pray for every person who decides to take on this challenge and that you will give them the strength they need to press through. Bring to their remembrance experiences that they need to lay at the foot of the Cross that they may press forward towards all that you have for them! Father, begin to replace the lies that they believe about themselves with your beautiful truths. In Jesus’ name, Amen

I look forward to hearing about your experiences this week and if there are any othre scriptures you’d like to share, questions or you just want to chat with someone who’s walking this same path, join us in the closed Facebook group here!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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Women 4 Christ Prayer Call

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Hi!

Join Savin’ it for Hubby Founder, Shannon Taylor (me :-)) and Women 4 Christ this Saturday morning at 7:00 am EST as we go before the Lord in prayer & praise ! Tune In to Be Blessed! You won’t want to miss this message!

Phone Number:1-712-775-7031

Access Code:552426822

Be blessed & encouraged!

Shannon

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What Does God’s Word Say About Sex?

purity-article-header-mirage-marriageHi! I’m so excited to begin this journey with you through God’s Word! Why am I so excited? I am excited because one of the greatest lies ever told will now be demolished! What’s this lie? The lie is that God has nothing to say about sex! Oh, He has lots to say! For all the questions and doubts you’ve had concerning sex, I challenge you to join in and find out the answers for yourself! This is about you and God, no one else! Take the time to really meditate on God’s Word and let Holy Spirit minister to your heart. Let truth replace all the lies that have been told to you and that you’ve told to yourself.

Over the next thirty-one days, pray for revelation, journal the entire scripture or parts that really hit home for you and meditate on the passages.  Let God’s truth set you free.  I’ll be following along as well and will, as Holy Spirit leads, post what revelation I get or have gotten from the scriptures as well as how they’ve helped me on my journey to purity and healing from my past hurts.  If you need accountability, follow Savin’ it for Hubby on Facebook and post any questions, concerns or any revelation that you’ve received.  You will not be on this journey alone. I look forward to hearing from you!

Below is the link to download the plan!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

August SWP

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If God Said it…..

On this day, one year ago I had the scare of my life! I’d just found out a week before that we were expecting and I’d gone for my check up and all was well. My hubby and I couldn’t believe we were expecting again and both were still in shock. Well, he was, I kinda knew it was supposed to happen, somewhat….

Three years ago, we purchased our first home and as we were moving in and unpacking, I heard the Lord say that we would have a third child.  We have two daughters, Maya now 10 and Ava now 7, I said, ok Lord, how will we fit another kid in this house, as we were moving into a townhouse. He said that the new baby would fit in our room, which was a pretty nice sized master.  I remember telling God, ok, but You will have to speak to hubby on that.  Hubbs was not hearing having a third kid, he was just fine with our two girls.  Well, fast forward three years to the summer of 2014. I can’t remember where I was or what I was doing but I heard the Spirit say, ” You’re going to have a son named Caleb”. I in turn questioned Him of course and asked, “Ok, Lord, to whom should I relay this message?” because surely it wasn’t meant for me. Hubby made it very clear that we were done having kids. Well, maybe a month or so earlier, I’d gone to hubby again and said that I wanted to try for a boy and of course he said no, so I’d let the matter go, made up in my mind that we were done and made peace with it.  After all, I couldn’t force my hubby, so I let it go and put my focus into ministry and making great strides in losing weight and toning my body. I was doing a darn good job may I add! Anyway, back to my story.  So, I hear that I”m going to have a son named Caleb and that was during the summer.  Well months passed and nothing. I began to question what I’d heard and wrote it off as being a little miffed that I’d wanted a son and hubbs said no but I just couldn’t shake the desire for a son.  Everywhere I went I saw little boys playing and cute little baby boys!

Fast forward to October 2014. I was preparing for another session of the purity program that I coordinate and my director and I were out shopping and I felt horrible! Didn’t think nothing of it.  She convinced me to buy a pregnancy test and I said fine, ok, whatever. I woke up at 4:37am to go to the bathroom and I figured I may as well take the test get it over with so I could mark it off my list as to why I was feeling so bad. I’m sitting waiting for the test results and I look down on the floor where the test was and the lines were hot pink!! I almost fell off the toilet seat!! I hurry to wake up Hubbs to show him and he was surprisingly calm! I just looked at him as if he was crazy because I was freaking out! I’d made up my mind that I was fine without a third kid! My muscles were defined and my belly was deflating, I was down to my goal size 10!

Called the Dr. the next day and via their calculations, I was 6 weeks pregnant! The following week, I go in for my check up and as I said all was well. A week later, my purity classes begin and I’m at church prepping with my director and we’re chatting. (Hope you’re not sensitive, beware of what’s next) While we’re chatting a get the sensation that feels as if I’m urinating on myself. So I rush to the bathroom and get to the stall, I pull my pants down only to see blood, and lots of it! Then, there was a final gush of blood and fluids and I began to scream and cry out for my director.  She comes running and I just start crying and screaming that my baby is gone, my baby is gone!! I remember looking at a clot that was left in my underwear and thinking, this is my baby. I remember telling God, you know, I was fine without the third kid, You didn’t have to do this to me! After I calmed down a little I call my husband and he comes to pick me up and we go to the emergency room.  I was a mess, I was so hurt but just wanted the whole ordeal to be over. The wait was grueling, I was given IV, and an unusually long ultrasound. During the ultrasound all I could think was why is she taking so long to find something that isn’t there?

Once the doctors and nurses were done invading my privacy, Hubby and I sat and waited in silence. The Dr came in and asked if the ultrasound tech had told us anything, and we answered no. He then says, well, the baby is still alive and the heartbeat is strong!! Hubbs and I were looking at him as if he had two heads! I was like, what in the world was that gush I felt and all the blood?! Well, turns out I had experienced something called a subchorionic hematoma.  This is when there’s extra blood and tissue that your body doesn’t absorb and what isn’t absorbed, is expelled during pregnancy.  He told us that although the baby seemed fine, but the placenta was starting to detach and there was still a 50/50 chance of miscarriage.  The only thing I could do was go home and try to rest.  We get home and I’m a nervous wreck! Every time I went to the bathroom was so scary because I was just waiting for something else to happen and every time I saw even a hint of blood I would cry. This all happened over a weekend and on Monday I went to see my Dr.  She did and ultrasound and again the baby was there, all was fine and heartbeat was strong.  I asked about the placenta pulling away and she said, “whatever happened, it’s healed now”. I just looked at her and said to myself, Lord, really, what are you up to?! So at this time all we knew was that we were having a baby. Where did this Caleb come from Lord? Well, when you’re over the age of 35, they offer genetic testing and you have the chance to find out early the sex of your child. On Christmas eve, we found out that we were having a boy, this indeed was our son Caleb.  I could only laugh! Only God, only God!! My husband just looked at me as if I had two heads lol!

Now, one year later, our son Caleb is almost 5 months old and he is the happiest, cutest baby boy ever! We all are so in love!!

I share this story with you, because I want you to know that no matter how things look, no matter what the circumstances look like or point to, if GOD said it, it will come to pass!!! We just have to stand in faith and trust HIM!!! We have to keep our eyes on Him and focus only on what He has said and not all that we hear going on around us! God said that I would have a son named Caleb and in spite of what I saw in the bathroom that night, in spite of what the Dr told us, our baby boy is here, alive and well and keeping us up at night lol!

Our God is faithful and if He said that you will have something, then believe it and watch Him bring it all to pass!!

Caleb Liam Taylor, 4 months
Caleb Liam Taylor, 4 months

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

 

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An Excerpt….

Hi! I’m in the process of publishing my first book, y’all pray for me! As I’m in the process of publishing the first one, I’ve started on the second one, which is fiction mixed with a little life truth, and thought I’d share a little teaser 😉

…My God what have I done?! My life is a mess! My heart is a mess! The pain is unbearable. I can barely breathe! It hurts to breathe! I want to cry but the tears won’t come. How did this happen? When did this happen? Why did this happen? To me! Haven’t I gone through enough? The pain of seeing my mom throw her life away and kill herself with drugs and alcohol and now a painful, hurtful marriage! The entire marriage has been painful! God, my soul hurts, it aches. Words can’t describe the hurt and pain and disappointment, anger, frustration and hopelesness.

With you there’s always hope, right? I feel sick to my stomach with grief. Who am I? What do I do now? God I have begged you, pleaded, cried, prayed that you would take these feelings away. But you haven’t. Why have me continue to love someone I can never have and worst yet, he still loves me! He’s honored that I still love him, but my husband could care less about me! All he does is tear me down to nothing! He never misses a chance to remind me of my mistakes! As if he’s perfect and has never done anything wrong! My God will this pain ever stop?! What do I do now God? I don’t want to fail you. I don’t want to go to hell, I want to please you but how when I know you know what’s in my heart. Am I gonna go to hell for feeling this way? If only I’d truly known you sooner, if I ‘d been stronger, if I’d fought, fought for Gavin’s love. I told Evan it was over, it hurts too bad to love him, it’s painful loving him. He doesn’t know how to love me. He’s all about himself. There’s no we, just him. His wants, his needs.

God, I don’t know how much more of this emptiness I can take! How do I get out of this? I trust you Lord, now what do you want me to do? First Peter 3 is too hard and too painful to do. I don’t even know if I still want to be married or not. I just want this to be over. I still can’t breathe, how can I rest and sleep feeling like this? I don’t, I can’t talk to him, I don’t know what to say. Too much pain and he just doesn’t get it. He just can’t seem to understand me.  Sometimes I wish I could press the reset button but then I wouldn’t have my children. I want to cry, maybe the pain will stop but I don’t want to wake the kids, the tears won’t come anyway. 

This really is my life. This is a bunch of BS! I keep hoping that I’ll wake up from a bad dream. Who knew wanting and getting love and affection from your husband would be so hard! Holy Spirit and Jesus I hope you’re truly interceding for me now because I no longer know what to pray or ask for except for this pain to stop.

Now that I look back, the signs were all there, the warnings, the words of wisdom; I didn’t listen. Even the fights before the engagement, the sense of relief during our temporary break-up. Nope, I listened to Evan. “Have faith in me” he said. I was so stupid! Why in the world did I think that marriage would change things? Maybe because I knew nothing about marriage to begin with. I should have known something was wrong because I thought of Gavin on the day of our wedding. Who thinks of another man on her wedding day? Even our wedding night was awkward. The signs were all there yet I ignored them. And now I’m in the biggest mess of my life! Lord, please save me from myself….

So, what’cha think? Would you keep reading? This is my first time attempting fiction so be gentle :-). I shall continue writing! Until next time…

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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What in the World is Going on?

Seriously2Ever had something so weird happen to you or circumstances that are out of the ordinary happen to you that wouldn’t normally happen? For instance, if you’re a very peaceable person and then out of no where something happens between you and another person and in that incident you’re totally misunderstood? Or, you’re in a situation that is beyond your control but somehow you get dragged in and it’s drama that you normally try to avoid like the plague?  Or, you have an issue with a friend, boyfriend, parent, etc. Yeah, those type of things that get under your skin, hurt your feelings, tick you off and poke at your heart because it’s so not you! I mean, really how in the world did I get in to this, right?

WITWIGO

Well, let me offer a little encouragement, roll with it.  Yes, roll with it.  Here’s why, in every situation, there’s a lesson to be learned.  In a situation I was in, I found once the smoke cleared, that God was trying to teach me something about Him, myself and others.  What a concept huh? So, instead of getting your panties in a bunch and allowing the enemy to beat you up, stop and ask God what in the world is going on? What is it that He’s trying to teach you, get you to see? God is purposeful and doesn’t waste a thing.  A few lessons I’ve learned are:

1. People are people are people: No matter the status or stature, we all have junk.  Don’t think that just because someone says they are a Christian or if someone is a leader or boss or seems to have it all together that they can’t or won’t do something crazy or in your eyes, unexpected because they will, they are human.

2. God will use people and experiences in your life to either grow you, protect or discipline you.  No, it doesn’t feel good but it’s worth it and helpful. I believe the chaos in the situation is used to divert our attention as well, which may keep us out of something that we’re not supposed to be involved in.

3. Pain brings about change and enlightenment. Sometimes we choose to ignore the lesson and go right back and do it again but it is the hope that we will learn from our mistakes, embrace the change and move forward.

4. Out of the ordinary experiences teach us to heed the voice of the Holy Spirit for guidance. Sometimes these experiences are how God tries to get our attention.  Listen up!

Just sharing a little.  Hope this helps someone 🙂

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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Change

We all go through changes in our lives, some good, some bad.  Some much needed and some unexpected.  Change can bring us such great joy or it can feel as if our lives are falling apart, as if your heart is being ripped from your chest! Whether we like it or not, change is inevitable.

Over the past 3 years, my life has changed dramatically! I quit my job in 2010 because God said that it was time to go but I thought it was just to leave that particular job and go to another, but not so! Little did I know God had something else in store for me, something huge and beyond me! Something that would require my whole life to be changed, shaken and reformed! I’m still in preparation and right now the it doesn’t feel good at all!!! BUT, I know who’s in control and I know that He has me. If you’re a child of God and you have said “Lord, I surrender my life to you” then hold on for the ride of your life!

Jesus came to die for our sins, when we surrender our lives to Him, we die to our sins.  That death to our sins is not always easy but it’s necessary for our lives. The change can be painful at times but in the end it’s so good for us, it’s life for us.  But because we still have flesh, we die kicking and screaming because we don’t want to change because change doesn’t always feel good. We want what feels good, right?! God is more concerned about the development of our character and changing our hearts than our comfort.  He said He would never leave nor forsake us, but He never said that this journey would be easy.

We all have things about us that we need to change or would like to change, but it’s a great relief to know that we don’t have to go through the process of change alone.  God is patient and gentle with us, gently nudging us in the way we should go, shoot I know sometimes He’s had to drag me! But out of His great love, He changes us, gently and lovingly.  So if you’re in some stuff and you know you shouldn’t be or have somethings about you that you want to change, don’t worry about having to do it all by yourself because you can’t, that’s why Jesus died for us.  We are incapable, without Jesus.  He will help you! All you have to do is ask and obey! He didn’t come to condemn but to save and love us.  Talk to Him about the things you want to change, need to change but just can’t seem to do and trust Him to help you because He will, He’s just waiting on the invitation!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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Answer to Emptiness

Everywhere you look, there seems to be an answer to your emptiness.  If you have this job, car, house.  If you are married with 2 kids and a dog.  If you are this size and look this way, wear these clothes.  Eat like this, move like that, hang out with them, go here, say this, do this, read this, watch this! None of it means anything! All of this is just a distraction to keep us away from God!

My struggles with emptiness are no different, honestly married or single, there will be some sort of emptiness.  Why? Because without Jesus, there’s no fulfillment.  You can be married to the most wonderful guy in the world and still feel that something’s missing.  If you don’t have Jesus, then what’s the point?  He’s the creator of all, He has the owner’s manual, He knows how things are supposed to work.  If we don’t do things according to the owner’s manual, then we won’t get the full effect of what we have.  We have to learn that no thing or person will ever take the place of Jesus.  That’s how we were created, left with room for Him in our hearts and it can only be filled by Him.  I used to try to fill this emptiness with sex and food, but that led to so many problems and heartaches! Sex outside of its intended purpose leaves you feeling emptier than you were before. So you try again with another person thinking that oh, this dude was just lame. Then, the next guy fails and you try another, yet you’re still empty.

Jesus knows all that you’ve done and all that you’re going to do, yet He still says “come to me”.  He didn’t come to condemn, but to love…unconditionally.

jesus unconditional love

Romans 8:1

King James Version (KJV)

8 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

So, what if you have Jesus and you still feel this emptiness? That mean’s you’ve spent too much time away from Him and He wants you to come and sit still and be filled with Him. No pressure, no judgement, no scolding, just love.

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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Happy New Year!!

beautiful golden fireworks exploding over a dark night sky

 

Hi! I’ve been on a writing break for the past few weeks and now, I’m ready for 2013!  This year has been awesome and I’m grateful for your support and following.  My prayer is that the words that came from my heart, my life,  have had a positive impact on your life.  I pray that you’ve made the decision to follow Christ, to keep yourself pure and go against the grain and be proud that you’re Savin’ it for Hubby!

In 2013, I want to focus more on marriage preparation and the consequences of having sex outside of marriage.  Say you didn’t get pregnant or contract an STD, sex outside of marriage still has negative effects on your marriage as well as you as a person; your self-esteem, self-confidence.  I will have several series throughout the year so stay tuned!

The New Year is a new beginning.  A chance to start over and do things differently.  Start your year of with a clean slate, sin and guilt free by giving your heart, soul, your life to Christ! His mercies are new everyday (Lamentations 3:22-23) He came to give us life, not to condemn us. He loves us with an everlasting, unconditional, unmeasurable love!  I wish you all that you hope for and more in 2013!

Happy New Year! May God bless and keep you!

Be blessed and encouraged,

Shannon