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Error of the Single Woman

error 2

In my single days, I was on the constant search for a man or male companionship.  I had a different guy for every aspect of my life.  One guy who was truly just a friend that I could hang out with, then there was the guy who took care of my emotional needs and then there was the guy who took care of my physical needs.  Neither guy had the total package of what I thought I needed or wanted in a man at the time so all three combined seemingly fed my wounded soul. Notice, neither of the guys fed me spiritually because at the time, I didn’t consider any type of spiritual need. God was just God, no major significance to the decisions I made.  But once God finally got His hands on me, once I finally submitted, my world was turned upside down!

I met my husband when I was in college and still straddling the fence with God. I knew God was calling me but I wasn’t ready to heed the call.  Before we became husband and wife, we lived together and God made it clear as day that us living together outside of marriage was not His plan! He made it very clear! (To read the story, check out my book, Love, Jesus, Sex: Experiences & Lessons Learned) Once we found out that we were out of the will of God, He led us down the path to getting right with Him and after two years of being together we got married.

Now, going back to my single days, I didn’t know God so I did what every single lady does when she’s ready to mingle, I went out to find me a man! The Error? Not knowing that God never says in His Word that a woman has to go out and get a man.  This is the total opposite of His Word. His Word tells us that Eve was brought to Adam by God Himself (Genesis 2:22). Eve didn’t have to go and look for anyone. Being single, we roll with the world’s way of thinking that in order for a man to want us we must look, dress and behave in a way that’s contrary to God’s Word.  So not true!

To the real Christian woman, it is my hope that you want to attract the godliness in a man, not lust, right?  Lust dies, sometimes very quickly and believe it or not, it’s not a man’s deepest need. A man’s deepest need from a woman is…RESPECT! Yes! Remember, what you give off is what you will attract. Being “fine” or “sexy”, on the outside is not enough to keep a godly man. Why? Because this is not, was not how God intended relationships to be in the first place.

Go back to Genesis where Eve was created and presented to Adam in chapter 2 verses 22 through 23. First, God took a part of Adam that was unique to him, and from that unique rib, created a woman for Adam. God used a rib which is used to protect mans most vital organs, and from that came Eve. Please catch the significance of this! You, custom-made rib, was taken from your Adam by whom? God! Now, before you’re placed by Adam’s side, there’s something that you have to do, woman of God. You have to step back, submit, and allow GOD to form, shape and mold you. Once the process is done, then and only then will God present you to your Adam. Trying to buck this system ends in ERROR!

Now, back to Genesis 2:23, when God presented Eve to Adam, what was Adam’s reaction? He immediately accepted her as his wife. He immediately and readily accepted EVE as God had formed and created her. Adam didn’t ask God to change her in any way. God didn’t ask for Adam’s opinions or preferences (he was asleep) but God knew who Adam was and He knew what Adam needed. Adam was formed, shaped and created by God as well and had God’s breath breathed into him.  Which is another reason you as a single lady need to step back and let God be God and let Him finish working on and in you and your Adam. God’s breath is needed for any relationship to work! If you’re trying to get a man that’s not had or doesn’t have the breath or word of God in him, then he won’t recognize you and won’t know what to do with you.  He’ll only respond to you in a lustful and immature way! Also notice that Adam didn’t ask to try Eve out first to make sure they were a perfect match sexually! Adam trusted that Eve was all that he needed because Adam trusted God. You need a man who trusts God and is led by God.

So, my dear single sister, stop trying to be God and submit all things to Him, yes especially the job of trying to find a man.  Work on deepening your relationship with God because trust me, you will most definitely need Him when you’re married! Know who you are in Christ. Find out what His word says about you. Then when it’s time to be side by side with Adam it will feel like a blessing and not a curse!

If you would like to hang out and chat with like-minded ladies who are trusting God to prepare them for their Adam, feel free to join our private community here on Facebook or follow me on Facebook for daily encouragement here.

If you need a little help in getting free from the baggage of old relationships, or needing to know who you are in Christ or need a complete mind change when it comes to sex and purity then my FREE online course HEALED might just be the clean start that you need!

Be Blessed & Encouraged,

Shannon

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Lord, Use Me!

Use-me

What if you just absolutely knew without a shadow of a doubt what it is that you were called to do? What if you had this detailed plan in your head of how things were going to go and who would be involved and how absolutely wonderful it was going to be? Then you decide to surrender it all to the Lord and He blows it all up, flips it upside down, moves people and places around and you’re smack in the middle watching as if in the eye of a tornado as everything starts to swirl around you at a dizzying rate and you have ZERO control! Can you relate even a little?

I thought that I’d graduate college, have a very successful event planning company and then I prayed, “Lord, use me!” Well, I had this wedding that I was planning and then before I knew it, I lost all control of that wedding and that was the end of my event planning company. Ironically, at this time I really began to hear God as if He was standing right next to me, like loud and clear to the point that I thought the sleep deprivation I’d experienced from taking care of a little had taken its toll. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of God answering my prayer of Him using me.

I lost jobs, embarrassing interviews, arguments with my husband, no money, struggles that happened in the past 8 years and it was all because I prayed for God to use me! He was directing me and I was fighting Him!

Here’s the thing, when we ask God to use us, this means that we have given Him sole control. He reminded me one day that, daughter, you don’t get to choose your assignment. Your obedience is what I need. We don’t get to choose who, what, when, where or how. We must obey. The train wreck happens when we try to work God’s plans into ours instead of the other way around. God takes our prayers quite seriously and He honors them. So, be careful what you pray for!

On the journey to Him “using” us, He works on, in then through us. He reaches down to clean us up and clean us out. He removes the things in us that would taint His purpose for us. He removes the things in our hearts that are not of Him and this can be quite painful! He also moves at His own pace and how many of you know that His timing is NOTHING like our timing!!?? But even in this godly surgery, He doesn’t let any of the pain go to waste, He uses it all, even the things we think are so minute and unimportant.

What is Healed

What He’s doing during this surgery is healing us in the process of using us. Sometimes this surgical healing requires Him to remove us from certain people and situations, environments, anything that would hinder His work in us and through us. He takes great care in healing us because He doesn’t want  us to spread toxic pain to others and He certainly doesn’t want us to hold on to it. If we want God to use us, we must first go through a healing process. Healing from things and people who hurt us, the pain that left a tarlike residue. We can’t move forward if we don’t allow Him to perform the surgery on our hearts and in our minds. So if you feel as if you’re stalled, then perhaps this is the reason why?

Are there some areas that you won’t talk about, can’t talk about without crying? Is there a person in your life (friend, relative, male or female) that you know isn’t good for you, or you feel that God has warned you about but because you don’t see anything wrong, you stay because you don’t know how to leave? Do you wonder if you’re stalled because God doesn’t love you because of the things you’ve done in your past or you feel that you’re too dirty to love? This is why I’m offering the class HEALED I know that I’m not the only one who’s had these feelings and I am more than willing to share how the Lord has helped me.

If you’ve prayed for God to use you and you’re wondering why you’re stuck, then ask Him, what’s holding you back and He’ll show you. If you need help in this process then perhaps HEALED is for you!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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HEALED

HEALED WORD

What is HEALED?

Healed is a three week live, online course based on the book ‘Love, Jesus, Sex: Experiences & Lessons Learned’ written by Shannon Taylor, founder of Savin’ it for Hubby. This interactive course is designed to lead you to healing and wholeness in these three areas:

  1. Identity in Jesus Christ: Knowing who we are as women in Christ which will help us to understand that love that Jesus has for us and to stand and fight against comparison, lies, body image, etc.
  2. Relationships: Learning to identify toxic or draining relationships that don’t help you in your Christian walk. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, friends or family, we’ll talk about setting boundaries and breaking the ties that keep us connected to them.
  3. Sex: Yes, let’s talk about sex! In this final session we will talk about the lies we’ve believed about sex, the damage inflicted from these lies and replace them with God’s truth about sex!

With each session, there will be homework with questions that will help you get to the root of what’s holding you back in these three areas and also during the sessions, you’ll be able to ask questions. In the book, Love, Jesus, Sex: Experiences & Lessons Learned, you’ll be able to follow along, take notes, and also have extra encouragement in these three areas.

So, get together with your ladies group, small group, sister friends or just you and Jesus and join us in April for a life changing experience! Register and order a copy of the book here!

HOW: This course will be facilitated online via video conferencing or if you prefer not to be seen, then you will be given the number to call in once you’ve registered.

COST: Free but donations are appreciated!

WHO IS THIS FOR? Women of all ages and stages that want and need to grow or healing in the areas of knowing their indentity in Jesus Christ, dealing with relationships and knowing God’s truth about sex.

DATES: April 12th, 19th, 25th 8pm EST

Register here for HEALED! 

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon