Dating: Helpful or Harmful?

When I was single, I couldn’t wait for my next date.  To be wined and dined and doted on and have whomever the lucky guy was undivided attention.  Each date led to something being revealed that I didn’t like about the guy or I found out he was just in it for sex.  Unfortunately, I gave in which led to more problems than I care to admit.  Dating supposedly is set up to see if we’re compatible with someone, and we all want to make sure we’re compatible but really all it does is feed a spirit of discontentment.  I feel that it contributes to the high rate of divorce.  It teaches us that if we get married and the guy does something we don’t like, we just divorce them and move on.  Marriage is a covenant relationship, not a contract.  You become one when you get married.  Why is it so easy for some people to divorce themselves? It’s because they went into the marriage with the wrong idea or no idea about marriage.  Some are just in love with the idea of marriage and totally are not prepared for what happens after “I do”. More on this later, now back to dating.

Follow me for a moment.  When you date, your ultimate goal is to find your spouse, right? Well, I’m married now and I LOVE my husband but let me tell you, marriage can be hard.  It’s a lot of work.  There are days that I don’t like my husband, or he’ll do or say something that I don’t like or hurt my feelings (he’s a man and he’s human, it’s going to happen in marriage, trust me!) or I may say or do something that ticks him off (which does happen in marriage, trust me!). As I said before, satan is watching and waiting for an opportunity to pounce.  On a bad day, if you’re not taking your thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), memories of guys from your past will pop up.  Your mind will begin to wonder and things you’ve done with him, things he’s said to you, how he made you feel, how he touched you or kissed you.  Then, you start to look at your hubby and start comparing and wondering….why doesn’t he make me feel like such and such, or why doesn’t he do this, say this, or act this way.  This happens! Marriage is beautiful but you will be tested! As I’ve said before, the enemy doesn’t fight fair.

Dating to find your “soul mate” is not the way to go.  It sets you up for failure.  You won’t get to your future hubby any faster. Let God do that for you.  If you do, when you get married, you will have less ammo for the enemy to use against you. That’s why God gave us His word, so that we will know what to do.  He gave it to us for our protection. He knows that the enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy.  Don’t give in to what feels good or looks good now. Think about your future and what you really want and act accordingly.

When I met my hubby, we were in college.  He moved in with me, we “shacked up” and boy did God get our attention.  We both grew up where everyone we knew lived with others married or not.  We started going to church together and learned the truth.  Not long after he moved in, I lost my job, he was in a car accident and totaled his car, my car broke down and I didn’t have the money to get it fixed, and then we were evicted! God provided wise counsel and we were told that we needed to either get married or not live together.  So hubby and I prayed and God led the way.  He provided all that we needed; the rings, my dress, venue.  God totally worked it out.  When you get in line with His vision and do things His way, He will definitely take care of you and make a way but you have to trust Him.

So, what’s the alternative to dating.  Prayer and hanging out or going out in groups.  God will show you and lead you through the rest.  If your future hubby is in that group, God will work it out so that you can get to know each other better.  Just trust Him, trust Him, trust Him!!!

I found a more in-depth article on dating here!

Be blessed & encouraged,

Shannon

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About Savin' It For Hubby!

Founder and Advocate for Purity & Truth. Promoting the truth about sex and the power of purity and obedience to God's Word! View all posts by Savin' It For Hubby!

2 responses to “Dating: Helpful or Harmful?

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